WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local contrarian has today successfully ruined his work colleagues, by telling them all to chill out a bit.
“Haha who fucking cares bro,” said Aaron Smith, a 29-year-old former edge-lord from our town’s Betoota Height’s district.
“Like, Trump’s really not that bad, I don’t know why everyone’s so wound up,” laughed Aaron, to hist largely female office cohort.
“He’s kinda funny, and we aren’t American, so who cares,” continued the resident of a nation that follows the United States of America into every single war and tries to mimic their popular culture at almost every turn.
Smith’s comments come as a number of his colleagues frantically refresh today’s coverage of the US election, with abortion and reproductive rights one of the core issues.
While Republican candidate Donald Trump has been somewhat wishy washy on his abortion stance, he has taken credit for the repeal of Roe v Wade – a landmark legal decision which protected the right to an abortion.
The overturning of that decision largely thanks to the 3 Supreme Court judges appointed by Donald Trump in his previous presidency has since allowed 22 American states to pave the way for restrictions on the procedure.
The decision also paved the way for abortion to become a hot-button issue in the recent Queensland election, with many concerned the attack on women’s rights will seep into the broader Australian political landscape.
However, while Smith’s office are keeping an eye on whether a pro-abortion candidate will take the top job in the country dubbed the ‘leader of the free world,’ the big fella says he’s not too worried.
“Fuck, last time I checked I didn’t get a vote and he’s not my president,” said Smith.
When asked whether his lack of sexual activity over the course of his life had any bearing on his position, Smith told us to fuck off.
