8 July, 2016. 12:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IN WHAT STARTED OFF AS just a casual catch-up drink at their local watering hole, two Betoota men soon discovered that they’ve both run a line through the same pleasant, but unstable woman.
In 2010, Taylor Conway ran into Chloe Kennedy at an evening function at the Betoota beer pit behind the hotel.
When they worked together, Mr Conway would always find the 23-year-old accountant sitting at his desk with her Jimmy Choos up on the desk. When he asked her to move, she’d rolled her eyes and get up, finding an excuse to touch him as she strode past him on the way out the door.
Taylor has done a lot of ketamine in his day, and even he knows Chole liked him. When he sat down at his desk, the seat would still be warm from her arse.
Without going into much detail, Conway ended up going to town on Ms Kennedy a number of times – but nothing tragically came of it.
Enter Taylor Conway’s life long buddy, Cameron Wallend – a dark-haired pelican who’s taught himself to enjoy his menial job retreading tyres and putting them on rims.
Cameron lights at least one cigarette at the wrong end for every packet he buys. Once in primary school, Taylor dared him to eat a whole jar of green Play-Doh. He didn’t shit for 9 days.
“So Cam and I went down to the pub and got a few cold ones in us. I put some Mondo Rock on the jukebox and undid my belt a notch,” said Taylor.
“I asked him what he’d been up to and he didn’t say much. But then he told me some of the best news I’ve every heard.”
Cameron raised an eyebrow and smiled into his beer as he told Taylor he’d been painting a few cervixes around town – and one of them was owned by none-other-than Chloe Kennedy.
“I spat my beer out onto my Rivers jeans and looked at the bloke,” said Taylor.
“I said, ‘Mate! We’re tunnel buddies’ and the whole bar erupted. Every average punter in the place came over and threw their beer on us. One bloke even showered himself with the postmix gun. It was awesome.”
Then the pair just paused, looked into each other’s eyes and softly embraced as chaos reigned around them.
