FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Despite several memorable mishaps in the past which are tactfully not mentioned at family barbecues, Uncle Joe is still keen to speak to his mate who knows the guy who works with the man who quietly imports fireworks from China.
“The New Year’s fireworks were ok, but we used to put on a display like that every weekend. Kids today are sooks,” he explained to his presumably-sooky nephews.
“When I was your age we could buy tupenny bungers, M40s and army surplus surface-to-air missiles for a couple of bob”.
After the inevitable complaint about the “nanny state” and kids not using their brain when handling small scale explosives, Joe waves away the obvious comparison to his own shortage of fingers.
“Hey, I knew what I was doing. It was just bad luck mainly. Like that thing on Boxing Day. Who would have thought that propane is heavier than air? It’s ok, I can count the number of times I accidentally blew myself up on one hand. This one, not this hand.”
And despite the misgivings from his family, Joe is looking forward to proving his pyrotechnic capabilities once again.
“I wonder if that guy can still hook me up with some of the big stuff. I’ll give him a call as soon as they let me out of the ICU”.
