WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some shocking news over the last 48 hours, the weekend past has confirmed that the entire South and West of the nation just don’t really get the concept of AFL.
This comes after a long season is set to culminate in a Grand Final showdown between the Sydney Swans and the Brisbane Lions.
The two northern teams have made the final despite the best efforts of AFL HQ to schedule them out of the finals series, and the boys in lime green to ref them into an early Mad Monday.
The matchup comes as a hammer blow to the Southerners and Westerners who have to come to terms with the fact that two teams with absolutely no connection to the city that claims to have invented the game, are going to battle it out for the top prize.*
The blow is made worse by the fact no Melbourne teams were fighting it out in prelim, with the Geelong Cats left to fly the flag for the Republic of Victoria.
The were brought down by the mighty Brisbane Lions, who have been notedly on that early 2000s shit over the last couple of years.
Suffering heartbreak in last years Grand Final, true AFL fans are now praying they can wright the wrongs of the storyless Magpies.
While it had already been established early in the year that Melbourne just doesn’t get AFL, with Port and Geelong shitting the bed over the weekend, it’s now just the Eastern Seaboard that understands how the game is played.
While the head honchos from the schools that sound like drinks made from fermented grains are going to enjoy the spectacle as much as possible, it’s predicted the off-season will involve some serious soul searching about moving the headquarters north – to the actual AFL heartland.
Anyone who disagrees with these calls has been asked to ask themselves who the last team to win a 3peat was…
It’s believed a State of Origin format for Queensland and New South Wales is set to be pioneered next year, to treat fans to a representative series featuring players of the highest level.
More to come.
*Gotchaaaaaaa
