KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact
In news from our humble regional centre, an enlightened great-grandmother is making a bold stand today as she triumphantly says ‘Nup To The Cup!’.
Whilst the other 86 residents of St Mary Mackillop’s Aged Care Home are being wheeled out to a Melbourne Cup luncheon, Dorothy Freedman, 94, is reportedly refusing to participate after seeing a bunch of content from her favourite influencers who weren’t invited to the birdcage.
“Did you know a horse is killed on Australian race tracks every 2.5 days!” Dorothy yelled as caregivers attempted to lure her outside her room for the fourth time with the promise of a fresh tray of Arnotts biscuits.
“I won’t participate in this carnival of cruelty, you’re all bogans, the lot of you!”
Despite being the matriarch of a well-known horse breeding family, today’s display of performative protesting comes as no surprise to local aged care workers, who’ve become accustomed to Dorothy’s knee-jerk decision to jump onboard whatever trending issue is getting airtime on the internet.
Speaking to the manager of St Marys, Dorothy has become the home’s most prolific social justice warrior this year, after being given a smartphone and a TikTok account setup by her grandchildren.
“All year she’s bandwagoned onto whatever social justice issue that’s appearing in her algorithm.”
“It’s a real shame she’s carrying on like this and is going to miss out on the special luncheon we’ve put on. The cooks have had the cheese and spinach triangles out defrosting since the weekend!”
More to come.
