CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local Betoota bloke, Baden Corkerson has today had his Young Liberals membership terminated, after it was revealed that he isn’t a psycho Christian loser with nothing on his CV but a law degree that will never see the light of day.
Corkerson’s expulsion from the brownshirts was voted on at a local branch meeting in the function room of some shitty rooftop bar this afternoon.
In the end it came down to a vote of 23-3 that saw the 22-year-old shown the door from this bastion of independent thinking.
It is believed the two members who voted in favour of letting him stay were coincidentally the only two women in the whole branch, who says actually didn’t mind being around a bloke who looked them in the eyes while talking to them, and showed the remotest interest in what they had to say.
The hurried process of distancing the Government’s youth political arm from the disgraced member came after photographs emerged of him playing some pretty handy football a few years back for the Betoota Dolphins colts side.
While Baden admits that he could still definitely be classed as an absolute fuckwit, he says it was not his political views that saw him outcast from the movement – it was his ‘common’ interests.
“I told them I go to church and stuff” says Baden.
“But I meant like at Christmas and Easter with my grandmother”
“Not every Saturday”
“And when I say Church I mean a daggy old wooden chapel. Not some air-conditioned aeroplane hanger with some rock spider on stage singing through bleached teeth”
The fact that Baden has also held down several jobs that required him to work with his hands, and talk to everyday men and women was also looked down upon by several of the powerbrokers within the Fortunate Sons, as was his sporting prowess.
“Yeah when they found out I’d worked part-time as a removalist during uni… I think I actually saw someone dry-wretch”
“One of the blokes reached for the hand sanitiser”
“It’s a real shame. I was actually quite interested in smaller governments and lower taxes. But apparently my ability to name the entire Queensland Origin side made a lot of the other members uncomfortable”
“Let alone the fact that I actually played the game myself. Apparently the rule is you can only wear football scarves, you can’t actually discuss it or practice it”
When asked what he was going to do with himself now that his political aspirations had been dashed by the elitists powers that be, Baden was unsure.
“I dunno”
“Maybe go to the pub and drink some piss”
“Chat up a few girls. Hang out with some mates”
“Not sure really. My whole world has just opened up to me”
