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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Friends and family of Breanna Anderson are collectively keeping an eye on the young woman this month, as the fall out from her break up continues. Famously a bit of a 'boyfriend' type, Breanna made news around her Betoota Heights circle after breaking things off with her 8-year-long boyfriend Brad. While Breanna made the decision to step away...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Environment Minister has today issued a damning statement about the state of the nation's biodiversity. Speaking to The Betoota Advocate (the only newspaper 'bothered' to turn up to the announcement) Minister Tanya Plibersek explained that she has unfortunately had to write another name on the endangered species list. "The common Great Northern White Fish has become the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Fans of Alyse Hetherington are this week revelling in her unparalleled coverage of the Australian Open. From school friends to random tradesman who came across the page during her explosive surge in popularity a couple of years ago, followers of the mid-tier influencer have been treated to unique shots and footage from Rod Laver Arena. Taken from pretty...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local Betoota Flight Path District man has today told the Betoota Advocate to hold its horses. 36-year-old plumber Jordan Nikolic says he's not ready for the news cycle to move on so quickly. "Yeah sure mate, all this Trump stuff is great," he began. "But that fucking Tony Jones mate..." "He's not getting off the hook that easy." "Besides,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has today dropped a bomb shell request to extradite the richest man in the world. In a shocking development from Canberra, the man hoping to dogwhistle his way into the Prime Ministership later this year has called for Elon Musk to be arrested and brought to Australia. The former Queensland Cop who is still yet...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate newsroom is today feasting on a veritable array of Pizza Hut frisbees, after a lucrative deal with a big fish. Our humble regional news organ is dining on the spread of Meatlovers and garlic breads, following our move to label billionaire Adrian Portelli the'Big Dick Lambo Guy.' The Block investor and cash/grocery giveaway personality transferred...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man has today been on the receiving end of some constructive feedback. Andrew Wilson (31) from our town's pebblecretiest suburb copped the rapid fire burst of suggestions on how he could do better a short time ago, after his better half returned to a dirty house following a big day of work. Enjoying his flexi-Friday...

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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney man has today given The Betoota Advocate his verdict on the industrial action currently taking place in his city. Furiously exiting the bus after his Bondi Junction train service was cancelled, Harrison Poon-Smith explained to our humble regional newspaper that he just can't believe the nerve of these train drivers. "Mate, these blokes want 200k a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local inner city yuppie has today drawn the ire of some of his fellow citizens, after an evening walk in the park. The terrace house architect who works in our town's French Quarter did so a short time ago after letting his dog off the leash at Sir Joh Reserve. The owner of the lockdown era purchase...