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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has today dropped a bomb shell request to extradite the richest man in the world. In a shocking development from Canberra, the man hoping to dogwhistle his way into the Prime Ministership later this year has called for Elon Musk to be arrested and brought to Australia. The former Queensland Cop who is still yet...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate newsroom is today feasting on a veritable array of Pizza Hut frisbees, after a lucrative deal with a big fish. Our humble regional news organ is dining on the spread of Meatlovers and garlic breads, following our move to label billionaire Adrian Portelli the'Big Dick Lambo Guy.' The Block investor and cash/grocery giveaway personality transferred...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man has today been on the receiving end of some constructive feedback. Andrew Wilson (31) from our town's pebblecretiest suburb copped the rapid fire burst of suggestions on how he could do better a short time ago, after his better half returned to a dirty house following a big day of work. Enjoying his flexi-Friday...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney man has today given The Betoota Advocate his verdict on the industrial action currently taking place in his city. Furiously exiting the bus after his Bondi Junction train service was cancelled, Harrison Poon-Smith explained to our humble regional newspaper that he just can't believe the nerve of these train drivers. "Mate, these blokes want 200k a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local inner city yuppie has today drawn the ire of some of his fellow citizens, after an evening walk in the park. The terrace house architect who works in our town's French Quarter did so a short time ago after letting his dog off the leash at Sir Joh Reserve. The owner of the lockdown era purchase...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's Federal Opposition leader has this week hit the unofficial campaign trail to remind everyone that he's 'tough.' Tough on borders, tough on the economy, tough on crime, and tough on people who say mean things about him on the internet. That reminder from Peter Dutton about his ability to firmly rule the country, comes as the Liberal...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT SOEUL - REPUBLIC OF KOREA South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol is today weighing up a bombshell next move. The man who was taken in for questioning by the nation's corruption agency yesterday, is apparently considering skipping town for a spur of the moment trip to a remote island. This follows the police officer who detained the President giving...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local champion from the Betoota Heights has today drawn a few sighs from around his job site. Robert Wilders (52) or Robbo as he's known to most, did so a short time ago after being spotted spending his entire smoko standing on the street. Armed with a 2 litre bottle of chocolate milk and a giant apple...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT It has been reported that the first wave of Serbian mates reminding friends and colleagues that Djokovic is the GOAT has already begun. The annual tradition, which coincides with the Australian open, sees all 94,997 Serbian-Australians collectively spend a few weeks celebrating the god-like abilities of Novak Djokovic to anyone that will give them a second of their time. “We’re...