Breaking News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney man has today given The Betoota Advocate his verdict on the industrial action currently taking place in his city. Furiously exiting the bus after his Bondi Junction train service was cancelled, Harrison Poon-Smith explained to our humble regional newspaper that he just can't believe the nerve of these train drivers. "Mate, these blokes want 200k a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local inner city yuppie has today drawn the ire of some of his fellow citizens, after an evening walk in the park. The terrace house architect who works in our town's French Quarter did so a short time ago after letting his dog off the leash at Sir Joh Reserve. The owner of the lockdown era purchase...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's Federal Opposition leader has this week hit the unofficial campaign trail to remind everyone that he's 'tough.' Tough on borders, tough on the economy, tough on crime, and tough on people who say mean things about him on the internet. That reminder from Peter Dutton about his ability to firmly rule the country, comes as the Liberal...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT SOEUL - REPUBLIC OF KOREA South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol is today weighing up a bombshell next move. The man who was taken in for questioning by the nation's corruption agency yesterday, is apparently considering skipping town for a spur of the moment trip to a remote island. This follows the police officer who detained the President giving...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local champion from the Betoota Heights has today drawn a few sighs from around his job site. Robert Wilders (52) or Robbo as he's known to most, did so a short time ago after being spotted spending his entire smoko standing on the street. Armed with a 2 litre bottle of chocolate milk and a giant apple...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT It has been reported that the first wave of Serbian mates reminding friends and colleagues that Djokovic is the GOAT has already begun. The annual tradition, which coincides with the Australian open, sees all 94,997 Serbian-Australians collectively spend a few weeks celebrating the god-like abilities of Novak Djokovic to anyone that will give them a second of their time. “We’re...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a groundbreaking development, the Australian-Lebanese community—long associated with a passion for tennis-inspired luxury fashion—can finally celebrate a player who truly reflects their deep-rooted connection to the game. Like many Australians, Hady Habib was largely unknown until the 26-year-old Lebanese tennis star made history by securing Lebanon's first-ever win at a major tournament, marking a pivotal moment for both...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that comes as a shock to few avid readers, The Betoota Advocate has crowned Sydney Sweeney as it's OFFICIAL 2024 Person of the Year. The prestigious annual award has been bestowed upon the Hollywood Superstar for her incredible influence on popular culture and global affairs over the course of the year. Beating a lacklustre cast...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man is floating on clouds this afternoon, it can be confirmed. Speaking very briefly to The Advocate, Bradley Tranh from Betoota Heights said he's not even sure what he's doing. After nearly 2 months of just caning it, Tranh explained that he's running on empty. "Yeah, it's been a big silly season," he sighed. "I don't...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Brenton Hills has been told to stop carrying on like a pork chop, it can be confirmed.  The somewhat stern demand was made last night, on the way home from his local watering hole.  After emerging from the air-conditioned confines of the Betoota Heights Tav (or the BAV as it’s known to locals), the relatively sauced Brenton was informed he...