Pauline Advises North Queenslanders Do Their Own Research On Cyclone Preparation
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A mass evacuation is currently being carried out in the Queensland town of Mackay as the ever-growing Cyclone Debbie threatens to cause widespread destruction as it collides with a high tide.
Authorities are urging about 25,000 residents in “low-lying areas” of Mackay to evacuate their homes immediately.
“We are asking people that can move out of those low-lying areas...
Side Salad Fucking Kidding Itself
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The tokenistic bowl of hand cut vegetables that accompanied a $12 shnitty and chips has got to be kidding itself, says one punter.
Inner-East Betoota man, Josh Gayrard (29) rarely treats himself to a dirty little pub lunch, and on Sunday of all days, he's definitely not going to fuck around with gross cold vegetables.
"Mate, If I wanted to...
Even Victorian Police Impressed By Apex Gang’s Ability To Steal F1 Car From Albert Park
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Both Victorian Police and the Premier's Office have this afternoon admitted that they are nothing short of impressed by the notorious Melbourne youth gang 'Apex'.
After over 18 months of 'declaring war' against the troubled teenagers with a penchant for carjacking, just about everyone in Melbourne has to pay credit where credit is due, after several members of the...
20-Year-Old Music Journo Pens 600 Words On Why The Beatles Are Overrated And Problematic
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Following the death of iconic American musician Bill Withers earlier this year, tributes have flowed from rock'n'roll greats who credit the singer for his influence on modern music
The remaining members of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles are just some of the stars to attribute their careers to the late singer-songwriter, who is being remembered as the true...
“Yes, You Can Pay Eftpos At My Empty Cafe But You Should Feel Privileged To Do So”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An inner-city Betoota cafe owner is charging 50 cents extra for any customer who requires eftpos, despite not looking like he can really afford to pick and choose, it has been confirmed.
Despite making a sustainable amount of money each day on this essentially cost-free service, local barista Kai Dixon (32) is still acting like the three hand...
Report: ‘Mates’ Who Sack-Wack When The Chips Are Down Most Likely Have Shit Banter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An over-the-top mate has started dishing out sack wacks on day two of a heavy bucks party trip, it has been confirmed.
Some of the boys believe it is because of the fact that Luke can't seem to drink as much as the rest of them, and therefore needs to take things up a notch with juvenile pranks...
Online Political Commentator Starting To Really Feel Himself Judging By New Shirtless Videos
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An opinionated Facebook user has stumbled across some sort of social media fame today, after posting an aggressive video rant on his timeline about some mundane thing that resonates with other people.
The video, which is titled: “Something that’s really been pissing me off lately” – has been liked by over 2000 people, some who don’t even know...
Hangover Hurting Enough To Warrant The Use Of Outdoor Furniture In Shower
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local resident's hangover is so bad that the only option available for life to continue is to place a garden chair in the shower and turn it on full blast.
It is believed, that when combined with suburban thai food and gatorade, a 'chair-shower' is an acceptable last resort for people who have drunk so much booze...
Pauline Promises Voters She’ll Make Sure No One Calls Them Dumb Ever Again
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Senator Pauline Hanson has drawn roars of support from a crowd of imminent One Nation voters, in some town that Bill Shorten and Annastacia Palaszczuk has never heard of, today.
Standing on a podium with an 5 x 5 metre Australian flag draped behind her, Hanson assured the crowd that, aside from the random influx of political donations she has...
Unattended Country Road Bag At House Party Definitely Has A Few Cruisers Stashed In It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An unattended Country Road tote bag sitting in an empty room at a house party is most likely full of warm but delicious vodka cruisers, it has been confirmed.
It is believed that the carry bag, notorious within private school girl circles, also probably has a phone charger and some expensive beauty products in it, making it a...