Liberal Party Self-Immolates
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Liberal Party of Australia have today performed a very shocking act of self-immolation, in protest against the difficulties of running a unified government in 2018.
The act of self-immolation, or setting one's self on fire, was brought on by the Former Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton and his band of old white conservative supporters.
This comes after news broke...
Bachelor Ratings Crash As Federal Politics Provides More Irrational Conflict And Petty Drama
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It was a bad night for soon to be former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and an even worse one for Channel Ten.
With the nation’s attention being held to ransom by the Coalition Government’s leadership debacle, one of the station’s flagship reality programs suffered a massive hit.
The much hyped and anticipated season of the Bachelor, featuring the...
Report: Politicians Are Fucking Losers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Malcolm Turnbull's Prime Ministership remains vulnerable after several senior ministers offered their resignations overnight, and reports more fucking losers Liberals are switching allegiances to Peter Dutton.
This follows a new report by the University of Western Queensland that all politicians in both state and federal politics, and quite often local politics, are the biggest losers in their community.
The report...
Liberal Backbenchers Terrified They Might Have To Send Their Kids To Local Public Schools
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It can be confirmed today that the fear of God is in the heart of the Liberal Party backbenchers.
The motley crew of middle-aged white men and a few white women are freaking out that if things keep going the way they are, their children may have to pay the ultimate price.
The ultimate price being forced to send...
Bill Shorten Begins Studying Videos Of Steven Bradbury’s 2002 Olympic Gold Medal Win
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Malcolm Turnbull has beaten Peter Dutton 48-35 in a snap Liberal leadership spill. The Prime Minister forced his rival to show his hand by declaring all leadership positions vacant as soon as the party room meeting started this morning.
Mr Turnbull won the vote and his deputy Julie Bishop was the only candidate for her role. But the result...
DNA Test Finds Bob Katter To Be Distant Cousins With Barking Man From A Current Affair
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Following an immediate DNA test conducted by the recently repaired ABC Fact Checker, answers regarding Bob Katter's alleged Venetian-Semetic-Aboriginal-Lebanese-Irish-Catholic ancestry remain still as muddy as they were during his 10 minute press conference in Cairns on Wednesday.
During his lengthy, at times irrelevant and borderline incoherent rant regarding his newly inaugurated Senator Fraser Anning's comments about putting forward a...
Bono Still Taking Up Space In iPhone Like A Fuckwit
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A recent report by people who have opened up their Music folder in the last year has found that U2 are still sitting in there without permission.
"For fuck's sake" says one iPhone user, Bridie (24), who walks at the Betoota Cobb & Co liquor outlet.
"I haven't ever liked this band. This better not be taking up memory space....
GBRF Announce Plans To Spend $444 Million Painting All The Coral Pretty Colours Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The Great Barrier Reef Foundation (GBRF) has revealed today what they plan to do with the $444 million dollar grant they have been given.
Anna Marsden, the Managing Director of the GBRF, an organisation shadow directed by mining companies, sat down with The Betoota Advocate for an exclusive interview.
After receiving the largest ever non-profit grant in the nation's history,...
Sky News Admits It Was ‘Wrong’ To Air Interview With Serial Backpacker Murderer Ivan Milat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
After a heavy backlash from viewers, Sky News Australia says it was wrong to air an interview with convicted serial killer and current inmate at Goulburn Supermax, Ivan Milat.
The former Belanglo State Forest-based road worker was invited onto the Adam Giles Show for a studio interview and spoke with the former Northern Territory chief minister about protecting countries against "foreign...
Fairly Standard Quarter Life Crisis Put Down To ‘Toxic People’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A local Betoota woman who doesn't like her job, is having a pretty textbook falling out with a few of her girlfriends, and is still reeling from a bit of a messy break up, has decided that all of her woes come down to the fact that she has too many toxic people in her life.
Christina Moffat (24)...