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Flume’s Splendour Set Momentarily Held Up After He Leaves His Gig Stick At Hotel

LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT It was panic stations in the high-rises and harbour-side mansions of Flumes management team recently as word spread that Flume, just hours before the first leg of his Splendour act, had left his USB stick at home. Tour promoter Jo ‘Money’ Baggs expressed his anger in an unofficial statement recently. “He has two fucking jobs to do, keep his...

Nation’s Hipsters Glad C.U.B Boycott Is Over, Can Now Return To Drinking Awful Beer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a monumental win for for workers rights, the unions have today called for "an immediate end" to an ongoing boycott of Carlton United Brewers beer and cider products Earlier this year, thousands of people rallied in support of the workers, who fell under the controversial Catalyst Services Enterprise Agreement 2014, which was rolled out at CUB's Abbotsford plant in Melbourne. Local...

Danny Green Calls Out ‘Cocky’ Kangaroo From Viral Video

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The patron saint of being able to punch someone in the face with class, Perth boxer Danny Green, has today called out a cocky Kangaroo who has made international headlines this week after being punched in the face in a viral hunting video. The 4-year-old kangaroo, who goes by the name of Quentin, has been accused by Green of...

Report Finds 70% Of Blokes Who Pass Out At House Parties Are Uninvited Strangers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent survey by the CSIRO has found that 70% of the people who drink until they are not conscious at Australian house parties, are the type of people who came with another group and no one really knows who they are. Proffesor Lote Meninga, from the Queensland laboratory says it's an obscure phenomenon, but one that reoccurs right...

John Howard Apprehended Outside Peter Dutton’s Office Attempting To Save LNP

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister John Howard has been apprehended by security guards outside of Peter Dutton MP's electoral office this morning, as he attempted to save the great legacy of the Liberal National Party. The 77-year-old Order Of Australia recipient appeared to show complete disregard for the for the strict gun laws he implemented in 1997, as he blatantly...

Barnaby Drifts Off Thinking About A Big Box Of Prawns At Mooloolaba This Christmas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Former Deputy Prime Minister appeared rather distant during question time today, as he spent up to 45 minutes fantasising about the upcoming Joyce Christmas at Mooloolaba. While Treasurer Scott Morrison sparred with opposition MP's about plans for extra schools funding, the Member for New England began to drift off, while thinking about a tray full of Moreton...

Bulimba Woman Treated For Stress After Backing Range Rover Into Daughter’s VW Golf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A south-east Brisbane mother of three is been treated for stress this afternoon, following an embarrassing school-pick-up-time incident. Ashley Quirk-Whitely was pulled from her precariously positioned Range Rover Sport by emergency crews, after the full-time-stay-at-home-mum accidentally reversed her suburban utility vehicle over the front of her teenage daughter's soon-to-be first car, a Volkswagen Golf It is believed she was...

Report: Taking Photos Of Supermoon Not As Fun As Eating One

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that Australians have flooded social media with their photos of last night's astronomical supermoon, a report has found that most of them would have had less fun than someone who ingested an ecstasy tablet of the same name. Last night, the full moon was 14 per cent bigger and 30 per cent brighter than normal due to the fact...

Instagram Model Shocked That Followers Don’t Care About Her Opinion On World Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The repercussions of a Trump victory may end up running much deeper into society than experts have first predicted. In less than 6 months since the “Trump-slide”, Instagram models around the world are reporting record crashes in their follower numbers - as they insist on broadcasting their political views on a channel usually dedicated to photos of themselves...

Bill Clinton greens out at 9pm, hours earlier than predicted

9 November, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CLINTON AIDES SWARMED to Bill's side earlier tonight as he slumped forward in his seat and vomited all over his shoes. Cameras then observed the former president's eyes roll back into his head and a gurgling noise was heard as he tried to swallow his tongue. Moments before the medical emergency, the 70-year-old...

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