Breaking News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A first year uni student who spends half of each week weaving her way out of a 'come down' has slowly started to talk less about saving the world, and more about self-degrading feminist comedians. As described by the American Medical Association comedown or crashing is the deterioration in mood that happens as a psychoactive drug, typically a stimulant, is either decreasing or is cleared from the blood and thus...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Redlands Bay man who's been rolling in cash recently doesn't know which type of beer will make his neighbours more jealous, corona or crown lager. Initially opting to pick up a box of the flash Mexican import, Corona, Luke Caruthers (49) hit the brakes in the beer aisle when he saw the glistening gold wrapping on the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite almost a twenty year career in media, Rove McManus has not really aged much. The Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation have today announced a new wave of federal funding to looking this bizarre phenomena. "Usually short white guys age the fastest" says CSIRO CEO Larry Marshall. "This is a bit funny to be honest. How old is the bloke?...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a warm reception to the release of their new single ‘Let You Down’ featuring Swedish electropop duo Icona Pop, the North Canberra electronic music duo Peking Duk have today revealed even bigger plans for 2018. Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, the band says their latest collaboration is a modern heartbreak melody and the first to feature vocals from one-half of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Brisbane are cringeing today at the fact that the closest thing to street-crime that their inner-city police have had to address is a bunch of lame kids riding scooters. This comes as several arrests were made against teenagers who were dangerously riding scooters through the city on Sunday in what appeared to be an event...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Feeling extremely delicate, tender, frazzled and flat, young Sam Wilson is not in a good state today. After another “team bonding session” where the aspiring investment banker consumed a copious amount of alcohol and a significant amount of cocaine, Wilson told the Advocate that he wouldn’t mind something more traditional. “Fuck me. I’m very dusty. This shit takes...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local taxi driver has today been asked to not be embarrassed about his taste in music, as a backseat of drunk Aussie girls encourage him to turn it up. The driver, who was listening a very loud Bollywood dance song just as the girls climbed into his ride, was quick to change the stereo source from his own...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local girl that you haven't really heard much about since she briefly moved to the city for the three months before returning back to your shared hometown, has started up another short-lived business, it has been confirmed. The invitation to like her new business page on Facebook has her entire social media network wondering if this is...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT To the untrained eye, 28 year old Jacob Lieschke is a sales representative for a company that sells workflow systems to medium sized corporations. Ask the man himself however, and you’ll get a different answer. “I’m a hustler. I’m out there hustling all day erry (sic) day.” Following the phenomenon of young men taking a steadfast and tenacious approach...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An ambitious local man has been campaigning on-and-off for several years now with a self-given nickname that suggests he is at the top of the food chain in his social circle. When asked where his nickname came from, Stuart Williams just shrugs and says "everyone calls me it" "Because it's true" The 28-year-old online butcher sales rep has even gone as...