Channel Nine Viewer To Sue After Correctly Guessing “What Happens Next” During Ads
15 June, 2016. 10:05
J. TOMPKINS | Entertainment | Contact
The Nine network are in hot water this morning after a viewer disproved an ever-present promo line that claimed “you’ll never guess what happens next”.
Nepean resident, and mother of 4, Nancy Burkowitz is suing the network over the false claims after a promo for popular David Attenborough program ‘The Hunt’ displayed a polar...
Local man unsure if he can donate blood anymore after kissing another local man
14 June, 2016. 16:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD interior designer is picking up the pieces today after he got a bit carried away with some bloke last night.
Matthew Dollarhyde, up until now, has been a keen donator of blood. His AB- blood type is especially rare.
"Once I found out I was AB- after a car accident,...
Local man looks through old photos from a time when he liked Coldplay
11 June, 2016. 18:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IF THERE'S ANYTHING that every young person in the free world can agree on, it's that everything Coldplay has released since 2008 has been dog shit.
Taking some time out of his busy long weekend, Greg Peacock flicked through a few old Facebook albums of him and the squad back at school.
The...
“I Took My Autistic Mate To The Casino And Lost $17,000 In Ten Minutes”
11 June, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
KEVIN GREENHOLM SAYS he should've walked out when his partner in crime started nearly sorting the chips by weight.
That was when he was only $5000 in the hole.
The 59-year-old semi-retired geologist admits he should've known better, saying that he hatched the plan to take his autistic childhood friend to Jupiter's Casino...
Barnaby Joyce’s election campaign once again derailed by publicity
10 June, 2016. 12:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER is back in the headlines again today after he told some mouthy hornbag down at a New England pub to "piss off" when a quiet discussion about mining got out of hand.
Coming in on the burst, Joyce featured alongside political and personal rival Tony Windsor on ABC's Q&A programme...
Local Man Gives Up On Life And Has Thai For Breakfast
10 June, 2016. 12:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
FINDING A NEW WAY of disgracing and embarrassing himself each day, friendly area bartender Martin Shorthorn woke this morning to find no food in the fridge.
Unphased, he confidently strode down to his local shopping strip in Brisbane's New Farm district, walking right past his local Greek-owned mixed business delicatessen, past three...
ACA Now Just Creating Segments About Bogan Drama They Overhear In The Pub
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
As society's lowest common denominator continues to slip, Channel Nine's investagtive journalism program A Current Affair is now stepping outside its usual format of 'dodgy landlords' and 'bickering neighbours'.
Tracey Grimshaw spoke to The Betoota Advocate this morning.
"What we have found is that we can gee up pretty much anything with a bit of spooky noise and media scrum,"...
Mum with townie-two-town hairstyle is not to be fucked with
9 June, 2016. 15:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SHARON GLEESON SITS IN her Caboolture kitchen, working her way through her fourth Horizon Blue of the morning while she polishes off a neenish tart.
Her knuckles are bruised and her earlobes are covered up in bandaids. Nearing the end of her tasty lung candy, she lets out an earth-shattering cough and...
Local Dad still pretending not to care about son’s earrings, man bun
6 June, 2016. 13:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AFTER COMING FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, one senior partner at a prestigious Sydney law firm promised his young self that he'd support his children and give them every leg up in life that he never had.
That was until his 20-year-old son Matthew came home one afternoon with a series of exotic ear...
Owners Of Collaroy Mansions Now Face Tragic Prospect Of Re-Entering Housing Market
7 June, 2016. 15:34
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Sydney homeowners whose waterfront mansions were wiped out by extreme sea conditions stand to lose millions if they are not covered by insurance - this means they will now have to re-enter the Sydney housing market starting from scratch - a feat that is sure to see them labelled as "lazy and whiney" by...
