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High schoolers still have no fucking clue what Cloudstreet is about

27 May, 2016. 16:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AFTER it was first published, twenty-four after it won the Miles Franklin Award, high school students around Australia still have no fucking idea what Tim Winton's Cloudstreet is about. Though their teachers might explain the themes and motifs of the 426-page classic, nearly every student surveyed by the Queensland Curriculum...

Johnny Depp spends afternoon staring at wall made entirely of Barnaby Joyce photos

26 May, 2016. 16:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JUST MONTHS AFTER stating that the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia looked like he was inbred with a tomato, actor Johnny Deep has confirmed that he's covered the northern wall of his living room with images of Barnaby Joyce. Yesterday, Mr Joyce said he must've gotten inside the 51-year-old's head and these latest...

Young Logan Entrepreneur Secures Funding For Pill Press and Subaru

26 May, 2o16. 13:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NEXT MONDAY MORNING, 21-year-old Dominic Haziz is flying to The Netherlands on his first ever business trip - in fact, he's even flying business class. But he's just one of many young Australians taking advantage of the generous small business tax concessions that were in this year's budget. Earlier this year, the Logan...

Sydney Opera House Struggling To Remove Giant Soap Box After TedX Event

26 May, 2015. 14:34 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Sydney Opera House’s 1500-seat Joan Sutherland Theatre, the Sydney home of Opera Australia and the Australian Ballet, will have to be closed for several months to undergo maintenance and the removal of the giant wooden soap box currently sitting in the centre of the venue after yesterday's TedX event. The Opera House said, in...

Iceland Has The Same Population As Canberra, But Not As Much Ice

25 May, 2015. 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact With the introduction of light rail and ongoing suburban sprawl, the 'Bush Capital' of Canberra, ACT now has a population bigger than some countries. Due to the weather and unique culture, one direct comparison that has been made is with the Nordic nation of Iceland. Australia's Minister for Foreign Affairs, Julie Bishop, says that every...

Fourth-Grade Footballer Hires A Barrister For Mad Monday Kangaroo Court Appearance

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The first time Brisbane roofer, Michael Rust decided to represent himself at a Central Rugby Union kangaroo court, he left defeated and broken - after being sentenced to suck week-old raw oysters out of a prop's belly button. Last week, on the returning bus trip home from their win over the Brisbane Irish, the 28-year-old tragically...

Unregistered Voter Says Politicians Need To Start Listening To People Like Him

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Believe it or not each election there is a large portion of Australia who aren't really aware there is an election until the very day of it, leaving hundreds of thousands of Australians out in the democratic wilderness if they forget to enroll. One of these voiceless individuals is Jackson Stollz, a 26-year-old-stay-at-home-son, who enjoys...

LNP Unveils New Human Shelving Units For More Efficient Warehousing Of Asylum Seekers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull has announced plans to invest $104 million into new shelf storage units for human warehousing on Nauru and in other Australian detention centres. While talking to the media in the Xenophobic hotspot of Mackay this morning, Mr Turnbull confirmed plans to fund the new technology which could see stateless refugees and asylum seekers successfully detained...

Coalition announce they might allow hot lesbians marry each other, but that’s it

23 May, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IF YOU'RE A HOT GAY WOMAN, then bite your tongue and vote for the Coalition government this July, because they might've found some middle ground on the polarising issue of gay marriage. After a series of high-level talks between senior members of the Liberal and National Party, a policy agreement was established,...

STUDY: Nothing Good Ever Happens If Tooheys Extra Dry Platinums Were Involved

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WANTING TO GET TO the bottom of an age-old mystery, the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre in Sydney commissioned a study into Tooheys Extra Dry Platinums, a brew notorious for its higher-than-average alcohol content. What the report found has rocked the Australian liquor industry. The report concluded that nothing good ever happens if a day's...

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