Local Millennial Experiencing Unimaginable Financial Security After Quitting Smashed Av
21 October 2016. 13:25
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local millennial, Toby Campbell (24) says he can't believe he's spent so long blowing his income on vegetables and bread.
After giving up smashed avocado for an entire year, Toby says he can now afford things that he never would have dreamed of.
"It's amazing. I now own an iPhone"
"Who would have known all I had...
Promising Year 12 Student In The Midst Of HSC Exam Will Be Stripping In 18 Months
11 October 2016. 15:25
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Promising year 12 student, Keira Birley (17) has just realised that her preparation for the Higher Schooling Certificate has been insufficient.
While sitting before the examination paper in her high school gymnasium, she realises that her natural intelligence, charisma and work ethic is not going to be enough for her to go to university.
One...
Hundreds Of Beautiful Women Line Up To Buy Tickets For Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig Gala
10 October 2016. 13:25
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After scouring the country for Australia's most Ordinary Rig, swimwear brand Budgy Smuggler has proven that the husky gent is far more romantically attractive than the Wahlberg-esque Calvin Klein model.
Hundreds of beautiful women have camped out overnight to get their hands on the 2nd release of tickets to Australia's first ever supersize...
Local Jet-Ski Owner Thinks It Would Be Funny If Trump Became President
4 October 2016. 09:25
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local jet-ski owner, Bryden Foreman (38) says the next four weeks are going to be so fucking classic.
As a father of three in Sydney's North-Western suburbs, Bryden doesn't think there is much chance that the imminent presidential election will affect him that much, which is why he thinks it would be so...
NRL Bows To Pressure From Sharks Fans, Will Serve ‘Monster & Vodka’ At Grand Final
29 September, 2016. 20:25
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The National Rugby League has today crumbled amid mounting pressure from both the Cronulla Sharks FC and their fans, announcing that ANZ Stadium will be serving a special edition 'Shark Juice' on Sunday's Grand Final against the Melbourne Storm.
The demands were made earlier in the year during Cronulla's marathon 16-match undefeated...
Local Kid Spins Pretty Crook Yarn About Marilyn Manson’s Rib Cage
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local kid, Alex Simons (8) has just come back from a family holiday at Noosa with some really edgy rumours.
While hanging out with some kids of the same age that he met on the beach, Alex was informed of the international schoolyard urban myth about the American musician, Marilyn Manson.
According to these random kids...
Man, 45, In Stable Condition After Midlife Crisis Lands Him In Hospital
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local father of three is in hospital today with two broken fingers, a fracturing a hip and a severe concussion after a midlife crisis left him for dead on a suburban embankment.
Andrew Loughton (45) was found by a bushwalker, head-to-toe in Lycra at around 8:00am this morning.
"He looked like he had been trying to fill a void left...
Thousands Of Disengaged Adult Sons Rush To Buy Dad The Betoota Book For Christmas
21 September, 2016 15:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With over 60,000 units of The Betoota Advocate's new book sold in just 48 hours, the race is on for thousands of disengaged adult sons across the nation to secure their copy of a book that has just enough swearing in it to make Dad laugh no matter what.
The Betoota Advocate's first ever venture into...
ARU Selectors Spotted West Of The Kings School In Parramatta For First Time Since 1996
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Regional media across the country can today confirm that ARU selectors have been spotted outside of the affluent metropolitan suburbs of Brisbane and Sydney for the first time since 1996.
Mudgee newsagent, Ken, says he was puzzled when he saw two athletic looking cityfolk dressed in Wallabies merchandise at his son's football match over the weekend.
"I...
Staff Drinks Ruined By Hipster Intern’s Revolting Craft Beer Selection
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After just 35 minutes in the pub, every person sitting at the table reserved for Out-Bush magazine's quarterly staff drinks have decided to pack in.
With what looked to be an endless bar tab and a good crowd solid drinkers and - Managing Director, Ben Bridle, can't understand what went wrong.
"I'd been down the street buying a pack...