Cause of Barack Obama’s constant headache discovered during MRI scan
7 December, 2015. 14:06
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AFTER INHERITING THE economic, political and foreign policy mistakes of the previous government, US President Barack Obama has revealed that since taking office, he's been struck down by crippling migraines. Doctors at Howard University Hospital in Washington D.C. have finally been able to isolate the cause of the president's headaches, which are clearly...
Police Called As Hundreds Of Dutch-Australians Rally To “Reclaim New Holland”
4 December, 2015 11:05
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
About 100 heavily-armed police – with negotiators – in Melbourne’s CBD worked towards keeping a crowd of nearly 1000 Dutch-Australians calm during a "Reclaim New Holland" rally this morning.
There was no violence in Melbourne, unlike the scuffles on Saturday at a similar rally in Brisbane and arrests at a rally between clashing protesters in Sydney yesterday.
At 11am the right-wing anti-Anglicisation...
Turnbull Government Announces New Joint Cabinet Portfolio
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The decision to create a new joint portfolio was met today after federal polling revealed 4 in 5 Australian’s found thinking about Indigenous Affairs ‘tiresome, confusing, and guilt inducing’ whereas the same number found ice cream capable of soothing those same feelings.
The Turnbull government hopes that with the joining of Indigenous Affairs with Ice Cream, Australians will...
Malcolm Turnbull Deals Crippling Blow to Nation’s Blacksmiths
3 November, 2015. 10:05
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Australia’s blacksmiths have voiced their displeasure with Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull after he announced that he would be scrapping Tony Abbott’s controversial dames and knighthoods.
“It’s absurd,” says Yurin Blackhands, a smithy based in the Adelaide Hills, “it took me most of winter to set up my kiln. I got a prime...
Defence Force Puts Call Out For More 1980s Hunks To Help Combat ISIS
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Australia's Minister for Defence, the Honourable Marise Payne has announced an 11 billion dollar investment in 80s hunks as an ongoing precaution against ISIS and faltering border control.
Payne cited that the hunks will come in a range of models, mostly falling between the 1986 – 1989 make.
“It’s quite a straight forward rollout,” stated Mrs Payne,
“The...
Richie McCaw surges ahead of Tony Abbott in popularity poll
29 October, 2015. 9:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
FOR THE FIRST time since he was ousted as prime minister, Tony Abbott has reclaimed pole position in the "most reviled public figure in Australia" poll, compiled by research group Roy Morgan.
Many media and political commentators agreed that Mr McCaw's place at number one was only temporary, as regardless of what...
Study discovers link between gun ownership and functional illiteracy
24 October, 2015. 8:35
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A STUDY FUNDED in part by The Greens and various anti-gun groups has discovered that the inability to read and write often goes hand-in-hand with legally owning a firearm.
The report also found that people who enjoy shooting guns are twice as likely to be involved in a road rage incident and...
Content writer vaguely recalls time when he was a journalist
23 October, 2015. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A FORMER AWARD WINNING journalist has spoken of a time, before he took a job writing mindless sponsored content for News.com.au, when he was free to pitch stories to his bosses. They'd often be shot down, either for not adhering to the company line or for just being too expensive to do....
Peter Dutton: “I Will Not Be Blackmailed By Human Decency”
22 October, 2015. 16:05
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Immigration Minister Peter Dutton stated on Radio National this morning that he would not be “blackmailed by human decency,"
Mr Dutton was responding to the claims of self harm and detiorating mental health of children in Nauru, made by 4Corners last night.
While addressing the Opposition in question time, the Minister conceded that “Referring to this people as...
Former PM Abbott Pens Heartfelt Open Letter To His Supporters
20 October, 2015. 8:20
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has today come forward publicly, for the first time since his leadership spill, with an emotional tribute to his family, supporters and colleagues.
This comes in the shape of an open letter, penned by Mr Abbott, as he and his family prepare for a life void of scrutiny - commuting between...