Politics

Man Who Spent 100 Million Telling People The Liberals Can’t Be Trusted Now Preferencing Them 1st

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a shocking turn of events, Clive Palmer has revealed to the nation that he is a shameless two-faced liar. The genuinely unbelievable revelation from the man who has a history of not paying his workers, comes after the United Australia Party revealed it would be preferencing the Liberal and National Party in marginal electorates. This follows 12...

Queensland Woman Half Proud/Half Ashamed Of How Many Lunatic Politicians Come From Her State

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Tess Riordan has found herself in a state of reflection this afternoon.  This comes after googling Clive Palmer following another day of being bombarded by that minion shade of yellow. Wading onto the internet, Tess said she was surprised to spy the words ‘Toowoomba Grammar School’ listed under his education section, seeing as she already had reserved opinions...

Bob Katter Calls Allegra Spender To Tell Her That He’s 100% Behind Her Campaign To Kick Another Career Politician Out Of Parliament, Because If I’m Honest Love, The More...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the moderate Liberal voter base continues bleeding out to Independent candidates with catastrophic momentum, inner-city MPs from Melbourne and Sydney are now sitting ducks for a wave of change. This comes as the Morrison Government’s 2022 re-election campaign has been rocked by a dark horse that no one could have predicted while they spent months avoiding a Net...

25-Year-Old Now At The Stage Of The Election Campaign Where She Googles ‘What Is Labor Party’

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A disenfranchised millennial has found herself googling a rather standard question about politics this morning, after she realised she didn’t actually know who the Labor Party were. Born in 1997 and having been only ten years old during the Kevin 07 era, Anita Gibbs (25, dental assistant) has never truly experienced a Labor government in her adult lifetime. And...

Scotty Throws His Favourite Movie In The Bin After Hearing Russell Crowe’s Voiceover For Albo

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactClutching at his stomach as he stares at the computer screen, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing's day has gone from bad to worse - and as usual, the reason for his distress is that pesky Anthony Albanese. Having spent an entire night tossing and turning, both due to his restless thoughts and the terrible surprise stomach ache after his...

Scotty Plugs Salmonella Diet As Secret To Slimming Down In Stunning Photo Shoot With Women’s Weekly

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactPrime minister Scott Morrison has this week shown he’s ready to fight the good fight come election time, by beating Anthony Albanese at his own game and debuting a stunning weight loss transformation. Sporting a massively slimmed down figure and pronounced cheekbones to match, Scott Morrison was seen looking almost Machine Gun Kelly-esque for the Women’s Weekly cover shoot,...

ALP Chain Shorten To Bar Of The Footscray Hotel And Tell Him To Just Sink Pints For Next 3 Weeks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian Labor Party experience a lift in the polls in the third week of the federal election campaign, political analysts say the media can expect a lot more new faces fronting cameras in the next few weeks. Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese's Covid isolation has done wonders for the Labor brand over the last week, giving his lesser...

Moderates Ramp Up The Campaign Against Independents By Carrying On Like Privileged Little Sooks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the moderate Liberal voter base continues bleeding out to Independent candidates with catastrophic momentum, inner-city MPs from Melbourne and Sydney are now tackling these growing challenges the only way they know how: by complaining incessantly and making shit up. This comes as the Morrison Government's 2022 re-lection campaign has been rocked by a dark horse that no one...

PM Refuses To Disendorse Handpicked Sydney Candidate Who Compared Pediatric Nurses To The KKK

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The PM has refused to disendorse a controversial Liberal party candidate for the Western Sydney electorate of Howard - after the backlash surrounding several comments that compared underpaid public health nurses to KKK lynch mobs. Helga Hershell, a handpicked candidate who was introduced to Scott Morrison by their mutual friend Hillsong Founder Brian Houston, is just one of many...

Scotty Makes A Move On Millennial Female Voters With Twilight-Themed ANZAC Day Post

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactPrime minister Scott Morrison has today made an uncharacteristically smart marketing move by taking a leaf out of Albo’s book and getting on the pop culture train, and uploading an image to his Twitter yesterday that looked eerily similar to a popular book cover every millennial woman was sure to recognise. The post in question, a stunning black and...

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