Politics

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he is taking a stand to ensure that people are safe from spree shootings in shopping centres, after a chat with his wife regarding this issue last night. It is believed that Morrison was reportedly standing outside a shopping centre in his home electorate last night, with a loaded AR15, and was preparing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mining identities Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehart have been selected at random today to be among the first in the country to be immunised against the Pangolin's Wrath. The Federal Government greenlit the spicy cough jab today, paving the way for every person on this god-forsaken island to be saved from almost certain death. Nevertheless, news...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT In some worrying news for Australia's already incinerating democracy - it seems that one of Australia's loudest medical skeptics and conspiracists will be waging a populist election campaign has he makes a move for the Australian upper house. Deranged former celebrity chef Pete Evans has this week announced he will join politics and run for the Senate...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A government member has today done his best to avoid answering questions about his behaviour as an elected official whose salary is paid by taxpayers. Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt did so this morning by brushing off any questions about rolling out a government announcement with a Liberal Party logo slapped on it. With an election potentially just...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Just after the Prime Minister had finally managed to discipline his electoral neighbour, Craig Kelly, for hysterically spreading medical misinformation at odds with the Government's imminent vaccine roll-out - it seems another unhinged backbencher has popped up to support the conspiracist MP. George Christensen, the Member For Dawson, and a similarly underqualified and out-of-shape angry white man, has...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the nation's capital today, the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) has announced he will be stepping down from the role - effective immediately. This comes despite the CMO Paul Kelly only being in the top job for a short period of time, after stepping into Brendan Murphy's shoes a few months ago. It's believed...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese last week announced a reshuffle of his frontbench, with key portfolio changes triggering a wave of conservative news outlets lambasting the party for perceived 'internal conflict'. Unlike the Coalition, who are quick to cut off disruptive backbenchers like they did with the Menzies pre-selection vote over the weekend, Albo is being criticised for weak...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Leaders from both the Federal and Victorian Liberal Party are being urged to take further action against a dapper group of right-wing university students that burnt a cross and chanted racist slogans at a popular Victorian tourist destination over the Australia Day weekend. The ceremony was believed to be celebrating the success of franking credits and strong...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As storms begin to brew in regards to Anthony Albanese's leadership, Joel Fitzgibbon has today hit the media junket with another big demand. This time, the Member for Hunter has called for the Labor Party to give up on trying to combat climate change and instead focus upon developing a policy solely based on keeping his parliamentary salary...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's shadow leader has this week reportedly contemplated the idea of offering up some shadow policy. This comes after another few months come and go with the leader of the Opposition coasting along in the background, presumably biding his time until the lead up to the next federal election. Seeming to somewhat kick out of nuetral, Anthony...