Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull has announced plans to invest $104 million into new shelf storage units for human warehousing on Nauru and in other Australian detention centres. While talking to the media in the Xenophobic hotspot of Mackay this morning, Mr Turnbull confirmed plans to fund the new technology which could see stateless refugees and asylum seekers successfully detained...

20 May, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JOINING HALAL AND OTHER international dishes, the United Patriots Front has announced today that 'al fresco' and 'al a carte' cuisines have joined a growing list of foods that members have sworn off eating. The aim of the far-right group is to spearhead a boycott on these 'un-Australian' industries, leading to their...

19 May, 2016 17:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Immigration Minister Peter Dutton has been condemned for making 'deeply offensive' comments about the migrant intake policies in Australia during the 1950's. Mr Dutton made these remarks during an interview with Sky News presenter Paul Murray, stating that the Snowy Mountains Scheme was an exercise of embarrassment for the Australian people, and that those migrants who...

19 May, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN USED TO introduce his classic tune Born To Run by saying: "nobody wins, unless everybody wins," but he doesn't do it anymore, because it's just not true. However, that's the essence of the new mantra coming out of the Labor camp this morning, with National Secretary George Wright confirming that...

18 May, 2016 17:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT PRIME MINISTER MALCOLM TURNBULL has been forced to ask Immigration Minister Peter Dutton to 'take it easy' for the remaining forty-five days of the pre-election campaign. This news apparently comes after the Prime Minister took a distressing phone call this morning from the former-Brisbane Police Officer, who was still rattled by an interview he had...

17 May, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER BEING SUCKERED INTO watching ABC's Q&A in his own home by his left-leaning family, 69-year-old Micheal Houston said he couldn't help saying "Fuck me, dead," over and over again. Having spent his entire working life as a small business owner, the semi-retired farmer says that he used to have a small...

14 May, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEHIND IN NEARLY every poll, Opposition leader Bill Shorten has been cooler than a cucumber  this election campaign, which he chalks up to one simple trick. "I scream into a pillow three times a day," reveals the 49-year-old, who celebrated his birthday on Thursday. "The goose feather ones work the best. I...

11 May, 2016 15:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Often described as "Australia's Drive-By" - the ram-raid is a variation of burglary in which a vehicle is driven through the windows or doors of a closed shop, usually a department store or jewellers shop, to allow the perpetrators to loot it. The ram-raid is a universal method of robbery, however, over the last twenty years it...

12 May, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SELF-CONFESSED TAX PAYER and welfare recipient Duncan Storrar shot to fame earlier this week after going into bat for Aussie battlers on ABC's Q&A. This morning, he's famous for another reason. Alongside this morning's revelations surrounding Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull's involvement, the 45-year-old father of two was once a director of an offshore company...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE AUSTRALIAN ELECTORAL COMMISSION has ruled that a penis drawn anywhere on a ballot paper this election is automatically counted as a vote for The Greens. In a landmark decision, AEC Federal Coordinator Faye Splushman said that the male genital best represents The Greens and what they stand for. "Each year, there are so many dicks," she...