Politics

Q&A’s Duncan Storrar named in Panama Papers

12 May, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SELF-CONFESSED TAX PAYER and welfare recipient Duncan Storrar shot to fame earlier this week after going into bat for Aussie battlers on ABC's Q&A. This morning, he's famous for another reason. Alongside this morning's revelations surrounding Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull's involvement, the 45-year-old father of two was once a director of an offshore company...

Electoral Commission Rules Any Penises Drawn On Ballot Papers Will Count As A Vote For Greens

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE AUSTRALIAN ELECTORAL COMMISSION has ruled that a penis drawn anywhere on a ballot paper this election is automatically counted as a vote for The Greens. In a landmark decision, AEC Federal Coordinator Faye Splushman said that the male genital best represents The Greens and what they stand for. "Each year, there are so many dicks," she...

Governor-General Impressed By Malcolm Turnbull’s Attitude

8 May, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today visited the Governor-General Peter Cosgrove to ask for a double-dissolution election. He then launched the nation’s longest election campaign since the 1960s, culminating with a July 2 poll. With the current Government's pre-election promises currently under the spotlight, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull says the path is clear for the "greatest years...

Disabled Transgender Jewish Aboriginal Woman becomes member of Royal Sydney Golf Club

29 April, 2016. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AS THE CLASSIC JOKE would allude to, how do you know if somebody is a member of Royal Sydney Golf Club? They'll tell you. Now a 69-year-old disabled transgender Jewish Aboriginal woman can tell everybody who'll listen that she's become the first of her background to become a part of the exclusive organisation. Baayami Noccabrara...

PM wishes Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison could go one day without fucking up

28 April, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact MALCOLM TURNBULL SPENT THIS morning sitting back in his chair, tossing a Turf King as close to the ceiling as possible. He does this every time Scott Morrison and Peter Dutton fuck up. More and more red scuff marks have appeared on the roof of his Canberra office recently, which is indicative of the...

New Footage Shows Depp Secretly Giving Joyce The Rude Finger During Apology

19 April, 2016. 15:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what appears to be one last snub of his nose to Australian quarantine laws, new footage has today revealed that Johnny Depp wasn't actually that sincere during his official apology to Australia yesterday afternoon. A photo, tweeted by the actor, at 11:30pm last night - shows his right hand performing a...

Barnaby Joyce and The Nationals host ‘outrageous’ house party at The Lodge

14 April, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NOW THAT MALCOLM TURNBULL HAS left the country, Barnaby Joyce and his friends from The Nationals have the keys to the kingdom - and they've thrown the biggest party at The Lodge since John Howard's infamous 17-day bender after Australia won the 1999 Cricket World Cup. Early this morning, a Tooheys Brewery...

Sydney Cop Reveals He Once Arrested Mike Baird For Shandy-Related Violence

10 April, 2016. 09:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Senior Constable Steve Giles is retiring today after 47 years as a New South Wales police officer. In that time, he estimates he has arrested more than 10,000 people. But one arrest stands out: Mike Baird. “It was Easter time at 1989. I was stationed in Kings Cross and we got a...

Exotic Day Spa Industry Booms With New Medicare Rebate For “Special Massages”

31 March, 2016. 10:15 BRUCE BACHETTO | Traffic | CONTACT Australia's exotic day spa industry is expected to see a boom in business heading into the new financial year, with the government's announcement that "special massages" will now be tax deductible. The federal treasurer, Scott Morrison, announced the changes last week, stating that 'Special Massage' will be included in a tax deductible health services...

Bill Shorten Crawls Through River Of Shit To Attend Press Conference

31 March, 2016. 16:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact OPPOSITION LEADER BILL SHORTEN revealed he had to shimmy through raw sewerage to attend a press conference this morning in Canberra. Speaking from a courtyard within Parliament House, the 48-year-old former trade unionist said the reason why he hasn't announced alternative policy or even said anything publically this year is because he needed time...

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