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Local Greek Hoses Down Heavily-Concreted Driveway For Two Hours

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Spero Bartzis, a 62-year-old from Brisbane's West End, has spent the last two and half hours hosing down his concrete driveway. The weathered grandfather of twenty-seven smiles as he blasts a high-powered garden hose onto his 'front lawn' - when asked why he dedicates so much time and water to this task, Mr Bartzis simply...

“Ban The Burka” Says Man Wearing Australian Flag Over His Face

21 September, 2016 11:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cooma man, Kerrod Keithington (35) says he finds all kinds of religious headwear intimidating. So much so, that he has started rallying in the streets protest the unlikely scenario of a Muslim moving into one of the three-story-rendered-brick-off-the-plan family homes in his predominately white suburb. "These people don't assimilate to OUR culture" he shouts, while dressed in at...

St Kilda Mum Hopes Kids Pick Their Genders Before They Get Sent To Elite Private Schools

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne mother, Lynne Seede, is having trouble deciding which elite private school she should book Tarquin and Geneva into. "I hope whichever religious institution we decide upon is supportive of Tarquin and Geneva's decisions," she says. "For the good part of the decade, I've successfully raised two gender-neutral children, but it's getting to that point where they might need to start...

Baby Boomer Who Did LSD Every Weekend In 1969 Calls The Cops About Music Coming From Local Pub

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local baby boomer, Francis Garvey (68) has already called the police thirteen times this weekend. The main issue, Francis says, is that she is having trouble watching her favourite reruns of small town BBC murder mysteries with the faint thuds of a vibrant live music venue at the end of her street. "This is not what...

Ipswich Not As White As Pauline Remembers It Being

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Nation senator Pauline Hanson's political comeback has sent shockwaves through the Australian suburbs today, following her maiden speech to the Australian federal senate last year. Throughout her address, the 62-year-old former Ipswich fish and chip shop attendant said that Australia is at risk of being "swamped by Muslims". " bear a culture and ideology that...

Mike Baird To Extend Trading Hours For Bottle Shops That Agree To Sell Blood Of Christ

14 September, 2016. 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Baird government last night released the two-year review of the lockout laws ahead of a government decision on their future of the new and improved, family-friendly Sydney. The laws were introduced by the NSW Government in early 2014 after a series of attitude-­fuelled assaults, including the killing of a white kid,...

Jarryd Hayne Reveals New Lifelong Dream Of Joining The Hells Angels

13 September, 2016. 10:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Jarryd Hayne has this mornining fronted a press conference at his the head offices of his most recent professional sporting club, the Gold Coast Titans. Alongside Titans CEO Graham Annesley, Hayne announced that he has yet another lifelong dream to recognise. Becoming a fully-patched member of the Hells Angels. This announcement comes as footage of...

Park cricketer steams in around the wicket in thinly-veined attempt to hurt somebody

12 September, 2016. 16:35 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact HE'S BEEN DROPPED THREE times in three overs and tearaway quick Mark Holloway has had enough - if nobody's going to help him get the wicket, he'll have to do it himself. The first-cum-forth grader is known around the district for his erratic, but often effective right-armed cannon shots and his handy...

Byron Bay To Be Renamed Far North Bondi

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Indie-Australian brother-sister folk rock duo Angus and Julia Stone are just two of many high-profile expatriated Sydneysiders currently campaigning for Byron Bay to be renamed 'Far North Bondi'. They join hundreds - nearly a thousand - fashion designers, jewellery designers, surfboard designers and professional instagrammers who had previously lived in Bondi for about 6-12 months before relocating to the...

God Politely Asks Jarryd Hayne To Stop Dropping His Name To The Media

9 September, 2016. 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Lord Almighty has politely asked Gold Coast Titans fullback, Jarryd Hayne, to please stop recklessly making references to him ahead of tonight's clash against the Broncos at Suncorp Stadium. The Creator has told the former NFL Rookie-turned Fiji 7s benchwarmer that while he appreciates the outspoken loyalty, there is very little...

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