Headlines

6 August, 2016 14:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A giant pile has stolen the show at the Rio Olympics Opening Ceremony, in a stunningly choreographed appearance at centre of the stadium. Alongside dancing foam AK-47 assault rifles and an army of chainsaw weiilding lumberjacks cutting down brilliantly costumed 'Amazon rainforest trees', Brazillian supermodel Giselle Bundchen also impressed in a silver gown that sparkled through the huge...

4 August, 2016 10:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the last twenty minutes, QLD Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has been struggling to hold back sinister chuckles as her dark sense of humour is entertained by yet another earnest hand-written letter from a desperate Outback farmer. It has believed that Palaszczuk's behaviour has given way to a feeling of uneasiness within her office, with even the...

2 August, 2016. 10:02 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Organisers of the Queensland Royal Show (also known as the EKKA) have been told today by the Palaszczuk Government that the giant, inconvenient gum tree in the showground's main arena must remain in the exact same state they found it. After years of crippling drought in inner-city Brisbane, the gum tree is a result of the fast-growing vegetation that...

  CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The South Bedourie Bowls Club have revealed to The Betoota Advocate today that they aren't quite sure what's going on. They say that either the young generation of drinkers have gone soft, or that their marketing strategies aren't up to scratch. Club president Billy Galway (88) says the schooners haven't changed price since he had his first drink at...

25 July, 2016 16:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Sharkies die-hard and lead instigator in the 2005 Cronulla Riots, Sharryd Clayne, says life couldn't be any better down in The Shire. "Mate, we've got Pauline in the Senate, Trump in the White House and fifteen on the fuckin' trot" roars the 25-year-old brickies labourer between sips from his 600ml Monster Energy drink. "I've been...

25 July, 2016 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT IN THE NRL, Wests Tigers executives have today announced they will meet to discuss Robbie Farah’s strident criticism of the club this week as the ongoing feud between coach Jason Taylor and out-of-favour hooker and on-again-off-again team captain Robbie Farah heats up. After the Farah-less Tigers defeated St George Illawarra on Sunday in round 20 of the NRL,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Dad Ken Gillespie (59) is really enjoying giving it to the hungover waiter at a family breakfast this morning, it has been confirmed. While celebrating his daughter's 23rd birthday at a prominent inner-city cafe, Mr Gillespie was quick to notice that the young bloke serving them had a sickly Tasmania pallor and still smelt a little bit like...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Brisbane high school has drawn criticism today after parents of students complained about new measures put in place to curb the popular 'Brissy pastime' of indulging in 10-on-1o street brawls. The rule was introduced this week to protect children, says Junior Serevi, Acting Principal. Parents had complained, he says, "about excessive 10-on-10s and also about children being hurt...

20 July, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Federal Police have reportedly raided the HSV-7  (Global Television) studios in Melbourne this afternoon in response to the increasing accusations that the Channel Seven reality TV Program, Dancing With The Stars has links to extremism and hate-preaching throughout the living rooms of our country's jaded middle class. The AFP received a tip off after Labor...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local old person, John Solander (67) says that he didn't know people could read news online until about a fortnight ago. "I just thought that bloody thing was for pornography and terrorists recruiting, I had no idea that they were publishing news on it..." he said. "Media Watch has been explaining a lot of this too me. Did you know...