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National Art School Students Vow To Keep Painting As Baird Replaces Teachers With Pokie Machines

18 July, 2016 16:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The uncomfortably youthful and open-minded students from the National Art School have today vowed to keep attempting to learn, despite the fact that their teachers are gradually being replaced by state-sanctioned pokie machines - as the NSW State Government decides what to do with some perfectly good real estate not too far from the...

Mike Baird Bans Blowjobs

14 July, 2016. 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Female-on-male and male-on-male oral sex will be banned in New South Wales from July 1 next year, with Premier Mike Baird saying the "widespread and systemic flagrance of sexual activity outside of wedlock" cannot be tolerated by the State Government and police force. Mr Baird and his close friend, NSW Police Chief Scipione, have...

Former QLD Maroons Prop Steve Price Begs Feminists To Stop Sending Him Hate Mail

12 July, 2016. 15:025 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Former Queensland and Australian NRL representative, Steve Price has made an impassioned plea to the frustrated female viewers of last night's Q&A to please stop sending him hate mail. "Please stop. You've got the wrong bloke," he said. The former Canterbury-Bankstown prop's comments after he became aware the he had been mistaken for radio shock...

Pauline Hanson’s Media Boycott Leaves Sunrise In Need Of A New Islam Expert

12 July, 2016. 13:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Last week the recently elected federal senator and leader of the far-right political party One Nation, Pauline Hanson, struck back at the patronising Australian media by posting a video on Facebook, now viewed more than 370,000 times, in which she told her supporters she was putting the news outlets on notice. I wouldn’t mind a...

Tortured High Schooler Not Even Sure What Triggers His Erections Anymore

12 July, 2016. 10:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local teenager, Ed Harper can't stand up right now. For fear of being asked by his English teacher to help contribute to a English problem on the white board, the 15-year-old is currently sitting in complete silence while praying to whatever God will listen to his desperate pleas to be left alone until it goes soft. Ed...

Greyhounds Join Ibis On CSIRO’s List Of Animals That Have Permission To Become Extinct

11 July, 2016. 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Baird government's announcement last Thursday that it was shutting down greyhound racing in NSW because of evidence of systemic animal cruelty within the industry, has rendered the extremely unattractive dogs completely useless it has been confirmed. Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, CSIRO flora and fauna spokeswoman, Les Beehan, says that if it...

Local Underachiever Can’t Blame Anyone For His Life After 7 Days Of No Government

8 July, 2016. 09:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local underachiever, Ben Inglis, no longer has anyone to blame for his lack of life savings, job security, sobriety and education - it has been confirmed. The 31-year-old freelance sign-writer has for a long time been able to justify his lack of life stability with topical but obscure political jargon related to whichever particular...

Wyatt Roy Returns To Previous Position Drinking Tallies Outside Caboolture Train Station

7 July, 2016. 17:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact While Liberal MP Wyatt Roy appears to have lost out to his ALP opponent, Susan Lamb for the Longman electorate north of Brisbane, the 26-year-old is still holding out while more results from the weekend's election are being voted. In the meanwhile, the born and bred Caboolture boy has returned to his previous post, drinking...

CHILCOT: John Howard uses the Harriet Wran defence – “I was there, but I didn’t kill anyone”

7 July, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact GEORGE W. BUSH AND TONY BLAIR were the ones who wanted to topple the Saddam Hussien regime, John Howard just happened to be there at the time. That's the message from Gen Y's most beloved former prime minister today, as he defended his involved in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. John Howard has...

Baird’s War On Gen Y: First He Took Their Nightlife, Now He Wants Their Greyhound Racing

7 July, 2016. 13:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In yet another blow to youth culture, Premier Mike Baird has today announced the decision to ban Greyhound Racing in New South Wales completely from July next year. It follows a Special Commission of Inquiry, the findings of which were handed to the state government last week. This announcement comes not even six months after...

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