Headlines

20 December, 2015 17:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the wake of a blatant Government-approved character assassination, Delilah "Stoner Sloth" Carpenter (17) says she will now have to find new ways to hide and suppress her deep-seeded fears of abandonment and social anxieties. "I guess one of the main reasons I smoked weed was because it made me feel better about the fact that my...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Toby Lockyer has found himself in the least desirable seat at this particular staff party. While enjoying an open bar at a local surf club, the entire office at J.B Media Buying have been forced to adhere to designated seats within the venue, in order to help cultivate their famously "social work environment". Mr Lockyer got seated next to...

18 December, 2015 10:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian is reporting that infamous people smuggler Han Solo has been arrested on the cloud planet, Bespin. Han Solo has reached a level of notoriety since the early 1970's through his work as a criminal human trafficker hampering government efforts to turn the tide of illegal refugees for several years. Mr. Solo first made headlines...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, 28-year-old Dave Sampson has involuntarily informed his entire office of his preferences when it comes to adult films. After running late to work, Mr Sampson was doing his very best to remain under the radar this morning - but very quickly became the centre of attention in his twenty-person office after turning on his laptop. Mr Sampson says...

15 December, 2015 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The man who made headlines earlier this year for the infamously lavish wedding that “put Auburn on the map” has been secretly trying to broker a deal that would render him as one of most powerful figures in Australian sports - and not everyone is happy about it. The Advocate has been forwarded email correspondence that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Homeless Brisbane man, Jai Torima says his state of helpless destitute is about get a whole lot worse, even though Pauline Hanson insisted twenty years ago that she was going to look after him well before anyone else. With a range of mental health conditions and a complete lack of occupational readiness, Mr Torima realises that an influx of Syrian...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Young mother of two, Maree Hardy says the Christmas spirit is alive and well in her family home this season. "Everyone's excited! The tree is up and our boys have written their letters to Santa. They can't wait," With two sons in kindergarten and a stay-at-home husband, Maree is the sole breadwinner in their South Betoota household and after working sixteen hour...

8 December, 2015 10:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Sports Commission is a Government agency responsible for providing strategic guidance, leadership and funding for all Australian sports that don't generate an income of their own. Alongside their world-renowned training facility, The Australian Institute Of Sport, this ASC sits within the portfolio of Australia's Department Of Health - and has provided our proud nation with endless memories and champions...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local teenagers were left in a state of confusion yesterday, after a seemingly 'cool' older man asked them if they were active users of the MSN Messenger Service, in a vacant car park. Ollie Wyndham, 16, says the group became suspicious of the man after he made reference to the discontinued instant messenger service, which was rebranded as Windows Messenger in...

4 December, 2015 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT About 100 heavily-armed police – with negotiators – in Melbourne’s CBD worked towards keeping a crowd of nearly 1000 Dutch-Australians calm during a "Reclaim New Holland" rally this morning. There was no violence in Melbourne, unlike the scuffles on Saturday at a similar rally in Brisbane and arrests at a rally between clashing protesters in Sydney yesterday.  At 11am the right-wing anti-Anglicisation...