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Rugby League Players Stood Down For Acting Like Rugby League Fans

July 27, 2015. 17:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Cronulla Sharks National Rugby League players Andrew and David Fifita are being investigated over allegedly acting like rugby league fans at a junior rugby league game. Their behaviour has prompted the rugby league club that they play professional rugby league for, to say the pair have "let the whole of rugby league...

Office Receptionist Low On Energy After Not Eating Anything But Pingers For 3 Days

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Katie Austin has just returned home from an amazing weekend at Splendour In The Grass. The 27-year-old says she has never felt as bad as she does at this very moment, sitting at her work desk. "I am absolutely ruined, I didn't eat the whole weekend," The iconic arts and music festival kicked off on Friday at...

Fans Mourn As Jarryd Hayne Is Violently Flogged To Death By FoxSports

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact JARRYD Hayne’s stint at the San Francisco 49ers looks to be at an end today, with the US media giving mixed views about his readiness for the NFL after witnessing him being beat to death by Australian-based sport network, FoxSports overnight. It seems the 27-year old former-rugby league golden child died overnight after FoxSports published the 18th...

Experts Agree: Anyone Who Joins A Political Party Before They Turn 30 Is A Fuckwit

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Samuel White-Kelly from Indooroopilly in Brisbane’s south-west, says he is not concerned about being liked by his high school peers. The 16-year-old is occasionally “flushed” and very often “noogied” by bigger classmates, however, it seems no one cares. Not even him. “It’s because of me being me. But no one does anything about it. The teachers think I deserve it. I'll...

Bill Shorten found alive after seven months lost in wilderness

22 July, 2015. 16:06 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact FAMILY MEMBERS OF Bill Shorten have plenty of reasons to rejoice this afternoon, after the search for the missing opposition leader ended in the best possible way. Shorten was reportedly lost in the political wilderness for nearly seven months, but has returned to lacklustre form today by releasing a policy that is the ying to...

Q&A: Jacqui Lambie Reveals How Terrified She Was Of Matching Up Against Alan Jones

  21 July, 2015. 17:52 CLANCY OVERELL | Sports Editor | Contact Senator Jacqui Lambie has revealed the gruelling personal torment she had to endure prior to an appearance on ABC's Q&A last night. The Tasmanian single mother-turned politician says she spent weeks preparing herself for the very likely possibility of saying something stupid in front of talkback radio personality, Alan Jones. "I was ready to go, but god...

Shane Watson Seeks Political Asylum In London’s Ecuadorian Embassy

21 July, 2015. 10:52 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact THE increasingly tall-poppy-cutting Australian public had been baying for Shane Watson’s blood for months, maybe even years. The selectors have finally answered the call, dumping the batting all-rounder for the second Ashes Test, but not everyone is celebrating. "After a brief hiatus from it all, we came to realise Shane was nowhere to be seen,...

Reclaim Australia Movement Demands Shark-Cull After Fanning Incident

July 20, 2015. 10:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact SHOCKING footage of Mick Fanning fending off a great white shark in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa, has made waves around the world. The Australian cultural activist movement, Reclaim Australia, has made an official statement this morning surrounding the incident. The movement has stated, that current increase in shark attacks on Australian beaches...

Portrait of Tony Abbott hung as Archibald finalist despite backlash

16 July, 2015. 15:06 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE VEHEMENT PROTESTS and an online petition, Frances Abbott's portrait of her father has been hung along side the Archibald Prize finalists at the Art Gallery of NSW today. Late last month, the trustee board of the famous art prize made an exception to all submission deadlines, due to the young creative...

FIFO Worker Accidentally Roots His Own Wife During Week Off

J.P. ELLIOT | Western Australia | Contact A Perth man has made the shocking discovery that his wife of 8 years has been secretly working as a "high-class" escort, after he inadvertently booked her services through an online agency. 40-year-old FIFO miner Peter Anderson uncovered his wife’s clandestine side-career last week when he and several workmates solicited female escort services at a hotel...

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