Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Prime Minister's Central Coastification is happening at warp speed, after it was confirmed that Anthony Albanese has now sworn his loyalty to the 2251 for life. This follows an entire week of news dedicated to the fact that Anthony Albanese and his new wife have bought a home in the Central Coast, with plans of possibly retiring...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that is being frantically pushed to the front page in an effort to distract from Channel Nine's external culture review, the PM and his new wife have bought a house near the beach. Obviously it's not near one of those beaches in his hometown, because not even the Prime Minister of the country can afford to buy...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT His Maj is on Australian soil. The King and Queen Camilla are being welcomed on their arrival in Sydney by Guv'nor-General Sam Mostyn, NSW Guv'nor Margaret Beazley, Prime Minister Anfony Albanese and NSW Premia Chris Minns. This will mark the first time an Australian King has visited our shores. His Maj Charlie's royal predecessors weren’t as lucky in ther trips down...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT King Charles III and Queen Camilla will be in Australia this week — their first visit here since taking the throne.  Their visit coincides with the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting, which is being held in the Samoan capital Apia.  However, given this will not be much of a visit - as the British Monarch reveals he's only here for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As much as the Australian media commentators insist that world leaders should live in poverty, Prime Minister Albanese and his new wife have this week announced the purchase of a house that costs twice as much as the 300 square metre workers cottage in Marrickville. As Murdoch and the Nine newspapers work overtime in their efforts to paint this...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT Right across Australia today, late-20s women are arriving at their places of employment with smeared mascara and red eyes. It can also be confirmed that long-dead group chats are reactivating, as friends from past lives reconnect and reminisce over experiences they shared in the 2010s. This nationwide grieving process follows the news that former One Direction member Liam Payne...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After being carried to full-term, a local Queenslander has successfully passed through the birth canal today. It will now be ignored by the Liberal National Party until it is old enough to commit youth crime, at which point it will given an adult sentence. But with air in the lungs and it's first taste of mother's milk - the baby...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The momentum that Premier Miles was gaining in the final weeks of the 2024 Queensland Election could all be brought undone at any minute now. This comes as Labor finds themselves in the crosshairs of BIG PIZZA ROUNDA. A staple item for all Queensland school tuckshops for generations, the Pizza Rounda is at risk of losing their largest customer base...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In new rules that are possibly 20 years too late, the NSW Government will now tell police to ignore the noise complaints of inner-city gentrifiers who think they are the main characters Special entertainment precincts will be allegedly expanded in the NSW government's second wave of "vibrancy reforms" to be introduced to parliament today. This new approach to reviving nightlife...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Pre-polling has officially opened for the 2024 Queensland Election, and the state's entire political landscape has been up-ended since this time last week. According to opinion pollsters and the bookies, the Labor Party was heading into a guaranteed election loss as of Monday last week. But things have changed. With the LNP now treading water after their deeply-buried anti-abortion tendencies...