Fast Walker Overtakes Multiple Couples And A Pram Only To Be Humbled By The Red Man
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local pedestrian and proud fast walker has had his pride shattered after pulling off a clean takeover of five slow walkers, only to be put in his place by the forced stop of a red man light and the catching up of the five he overtook, meeting him at the lights.
The incident took place this morning when...
Canberra Public Servant Ready To Brave Some Mild Winds In His $900 Cun’teryx Jacket
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Canberra-based public servant has been waiting and waiting for some seasonable winds this week to try out his new jacket that cost way too much for what it actually is.
Popular rock climbing outfitter Cun'teryx has now branded out into the overpriced shell jacket market and one person eager to part with their...
Local Woman Finally Understands Why Getting Up Early To Exercise Feels Good, Glad She Tried It Once
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who usually hits the gym after work has finally managed to get her arse out of bed to exercise bright and early in the morning, and reckons she now understands what all the fuss is about.
Doing 45 minutes of HIIT, followed by a peanut butter smoothie and a yap session with her bestie Claire, who joined...
“It’s Fine When Kamala Does It” Says Angry Car
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn angry car has defended Elon Musk’s ‘evocative hand gesture’ today, which strangely isn’t the weirdest thing to happen this year.
After overhearing our reporter Effie chat to her barista about the event, the angry car could be seen whipping out his phone to show her a photo he’d saved of Kamala Harris waving to the crowd at one...
Local Coach Driver Sighs After Getting Rostered On To Drive Bus Full Of Cunce This Year
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local coach company has done one of their longest serving and widely respected drivers dirty this week as the annual roster was released overnight.
John Coleman, of Betoota Heights, has been driving coaches in the Diamantina and Eromanga Basin for over 40 years and last night found out that he'd be driving the coaches...
Caravaner Thankful For Helpful Sign Telling Them To Speed Up In 2KM
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A man with a brain that's blowing more blue smoke than a third-hand whipper snipper is thankful this afternoon for the helpful signs on our roads that coach him into being one of life's great pests.
Alan Gooch, a retired 82-year-old vagabond-by-choice, was headed to Windorah today to spend the night and tomorrow complaining about...
Father Grapples With Grim Reality As Last Remaining Nappy Is a Woefully Undersized Swim Diaper
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
There was a drawer full of nappies, as far as local father Tom Hernandez could remember, but now all he can find is a singular, solitary swim nappy that's the only thing standing between him and a total faecal meltdown.
A faecal meltdown occurs when an un-toilet-trained child defecates directly onto their clothes due to...
Restaurant That Allows You To Order Without Any Human Interaction Would Like You To Tip Please
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA restaurant in Betoota Heights has come under fire for putting in an automatic tip option for QR code orders, with many of the locals wondering why the fuck they should pay extra for a meal that requires no human interaction.
As Betoota is a little behind when it comes to technological advancements, ‘The Hairy Goat’ is the first...
“The Elon Salute Was Taken Out Of Context” Claims Plump Young Man In A Pastel Polo Shirt
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Grove man has this morning put the dog up some of his dirty lefties mates after the claimed tech billionaire Elon Musk performed a Nazi-style salute during the inauguration ceremony of US President Donald Trump.
Musk, arguably the world's richest individual at the time of print, spoke at the inauguration for a period...
Older Cousin Unaware Of How Much Of An Impact His Wild Bush Yarns Are Having On Younger Generation
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A 34-year-old local grazier is headed to the Sunshine Coast this week for the annual stripey shirt convention at the Mooloolaba Surf Club.
Said grazier, Wally Renneck of "Astoria" via Windorah, expects to see a generous handful of family when he and the family roll into town and one of them expecting to see him...
