Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who was wooed by the constant influx of bedding ads on her Instagram has now found herself in the midst of filling out a mortgage application, after impulsively purchasing a bedding bundle from a popular website. Claire Stephens, 29, tells The Advocate that she’s been getting more and more ‘nesty’ lately, having been hit with the urge...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA teenager looking to cut corners has unfortunately not been able to plagiarise old school assignments off her older sibling, as she’s quickly discovered he’s a bit of a dumb cunt. Intelligent, but admittedly a little lazy, Aleisha Zimmerman says she just ‘couldn’t be fucked’ writing a 1,200 word assignment on an ancient history emperor of her choosing, but...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Free Settler Town of Adelaide, In Southern Australia, has awoken to the coldest September morning in a century today. A cold air mass and clear skies overnight brought a icy start to the Free State, with several South Australian towns recording below zero degrees Celsius. Bureau of Meteorology says the city experienced 1.3C at 5:39am this morning. While Adelaide is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The French Quarter is alive with optimism this morning as the new student housing development began welcoming the residents ahead of the third trimester beginning next week. Over the past two years, the large development has caused traffic chaos in our town's fabled cultural hub so residents are calling today a red letter day for...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA recent study conducted by Betoota Polytechnic has revealed some interesting stats around breakups, confirming that people who were treated like shit by their partner are far more likely to have a post breakup glow up. Interviewing 300 people who just had a breakup, the survey asked the candidates to honestly answer whether they behaved in a way that...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of The Advocate's esteemed sales account coordinators, Kevin Overell, nephew of editor Dr. Clancy Overell OAM, is reportedly eyeing off the six leftover RUOK Day cupcakes in the breakroom fridge at the moment. Despite being frozen and defrosted multiple times, Kevin says "he has low blood sugar" and needs something to bring him...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA uni student in the final year of his degree has admitted that he's a little disappointed he hasn't once sat on a well-kept lawn surrounded by a happy and culturally diverse friend group, as promised by every uni ad ever. Lachie Birche (23), a lifelong resident of the homogeneous Anglo-Saxon Australian suburbs, says half the reason he even...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A dramatic hometown acquaintance, who is usually quick to publicise every single personal update online, has suddenly tied the knot out of nowhere. Kerrothy Clydesdale (29) has never been one for keeping things to herself. In fact, she's documented pretty much every day of her entire life since high school on social media. But she's never once mentioned this bloke....

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA local girl has charged through three speed cameras and four red lights this afternoon as she races towards an emergency nail appointment. The news comes as 32-year-old primary school teacher Shannon Hegarty has picked up some rather obvious clues that she’s about to ‘get a ring on it’, The Advocate can report. The long suffering girlfriend of...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT In news overnight, the CQ rescue helicopter was sighted flying over the Ponds last night after a local girl was forced to call in emergency evacuation services. The story comes after paralegal Amy Walter-White found herself in a rather icky situation, lying next to a clammy bloke who’s about to get dumped into her “I shouldn’t have...