‘YUMMY!’ Comments Dirty Old Man From Public Account Featuring Entire Family And Workplace
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA boomer has shown he truly gives absolutely no fucks today, by posting a series of salacious comments on an 18 year old girl’s bikini photo, straight from his public Instagram account.
Dale Howard or ‘Dhazz1962’, as he’s known as online, either has no comprehension of how social media works, which is unlikely, or has just reached that stage...
Dad Of Teenagers Takes A Break From The Dark Gen-X Humour After Oasis Reunion
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal dad, Brent Toolley (56), has finally dropped the tough guy act now that his favourite band has re-united.
The father of 2, who works as a senior video-editor at a boutique advertising agency, says that his 25 year dark humour act of pretending that nothing even matters - a trait that is common among Gen Xers - has...
Summer Nearly Here As Local Gym Now Hosting Contest For How Loudly Men Can Grunt And Drop Weights
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACTIn an apparent bid to capitalise on the looming warm-weather body panic, a gym in Betoota Heights is offering its patrons the chance to showcase their ability to grunt as loudly as possible, followed by an aggressive weight drop that reverberates across the entire gym floor.
But unlike traditional weightlifting events, this one isn’t judged on how much you...
Local Girl’s Casual FB Stalk Turns Into In-Depth Investigation Of Crush’s Mum’s 2010 Europe Trip
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACTIn what began as an innocent stalk of her crush Jake King’s Facebook page, local woman Eliza Leung (27) has found herself several hours deep into an in-depth investigation of Jake’s mum’s 2010 European trip album.
“I was just checking if he still had that dog from his old profile pic,” Eliza confessed, now intimately familiar with the ins...
Return Of Frozen Yogurt And Havianas Indicate That It’s Going To Be A Very 2009 Summer
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTThe surprising comeback of over-priced frozen yogurt and the return of Euro-summer-inspired Havianas have made many trend chasers assume 2009 is going to be the theme of this upcoming summer.
The cultural reset to the times of Obama and the Black Eyed Peas has been noticed among many in the fashion and food world, who say that the return...
Nation’s Ornithophobiacs Begin Emotionally Prepping For An Anxious Few Months
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a startling display of collective panic, Australia's ornithophobiacs—those with an irrational fear of birds—are bracing for what is by far the worst time in the year for them.
As the annual magpie swooping season officially kicks off. The fearsome magpie, known for its territorial swoops, has driven these individuals into a frenzy of emotional and logistical preparation.
Reports indicate...
Local Girl Reminds Followers She’s A Cut Above By Dropping Hints She’s In The Qantas Club
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTBUBBLES FOR BREAKFAST: In a move designed to remind everyone of her elevated status, local influencer Zoe Mitchell has not so slyly flaunted her Qantas Club membership on social media.
Zoe, known for her knack for casually dropping luxury lifestyle cues, took to Instagram with a series of snaps to let everyone know that she is indeed in...
One Of The World’s Most Gas-Rich Nations Set To Begin Importing Their Own Gas For Domestic Consumption
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Australia, the world’s second largest exporter of liquefied natural gas (LNG), is preparing to do what no one saw coming. Import gas for its own citizens.
"Look, it’s simple economics," said the government spokesperson.
"We had a lot of gas. China and other countries needed gas. So, we sold them all the gas. Now, we need...
NRL Shocks Nation By Booking Popular And Culturally Relevant Musician As Grand Final Entertainment
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn an announcement that has taken the nation by surprise, the NRL has confirmed that Australian global superstar Kid LAROI will headline this year’s Grand Final entertainment, making this the first culturally relevant act the NRL has chosen in years.
Laroi, who is a proud South Rabbitohs fan, has risen to fame as one of Australia’s most successful young...
Career Woman Finds Herself Romanticising The Kind Of Carefree Lifestyle She Hated As A Poor Uni Student
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who’s been working way up the career ladder over the years has now found herself heavily romanticising the sort of the kind of lifestyle hated as a poor uni student, after coming to the conclusion that maybe the high flying lifestyle isn’t for her.
Burnt out but paid handsomely for it, Lana Huntley, 32, says she knows...
