Karaoke Escalates From Fun To Highly Competitive As Aries And Leo End Up With The Microphones
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACT
Betoota Heights witnessed an unexpected showdown last night when a local insurance firm’s Friday night drinks turned karaoke became highly competitive. The evening started off fun, with Karyn from HR belting out P!nk’s “So What” to kick things off, followed by a few finance blokes crooning along to “Khe Sanh.”
The atmosphere was lighthearted until Robbie from Marketing—an unapologetic...
South Yarra Girl Hoping To Sub-Let Her Room For A Couple Hours While She Ducks Down To The Markets
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACTIn an unexpected twist amid Melbourne's rental crisis, a South Yarra girl has caused quite the stir in the Facebook group Fairy Floss Real Estate with a novel approach to sub-letting.
Emma Miller (27), is looking to sub-let her bedroom for a few hours while she ducks down to Prahran Market for her weekly almond croissant, an oat flat...
Veteran Dishmatic Sponge To Somehow Stick Around Longer Than Any Member Of Share House Will
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIt's been reported that there is a high probability that an almost unrecognisable Dishmatic sponge that has been chilling in the kitchen sink for months will most likely outlive most members of its share-house.
Rumors began last sunday when one resident of the share house, Will Jonas(23), noticed what looked like some sort of slug creature bathing in the...
Yuppie Kid Raised With Wooden Toys And Organic Chips Would Do Anything For A Hacked E-Bike And Energy Drink
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
The child of a yuppie family has bravely revealed the personal hell he has been enduring under his parents.
Atticus Rolland (9) has today admitted that his parents only let him play with obscure artisanal toys made of high quality wood.
Even more cruel, the child has said that his parents only let him eat those really expensive organic chips...
Parents Applying Pressure For Grandkids Not Willing To Give Up The Empty Four Bedroom Family Home
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA couple of empty nesters in Betoota Heights have been urged to give up their spacious four bedroom house, after frequently urging their adult children to pop out some kids already.
Residing in a house that is clearly way too big for just two people, Phil and Carol Harvey, have failed to consider the fact that it might be...
Indie Band That Prides Itself On Not ‘Selling Out’ Announces They’re Only Going To Tour Perth
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA seriously underground indie band that you probably haven’t even heard of have today announced that they’ll only be touring Perth, despite hailing from Sydney themselves.
The lead singer of ‘Dog Dick Pink’, Mason Hall, tells The Advocate that this the band's way of saying a big 'fuck you' to all the international musicians who always skip out on...
Bloke Looking At Doctor’s Handwritten Note Unsure If He Has Gout Or A Gunt
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a tale as old as time, local bloke Alan Flemming, 36 has today found himself struggling to decipher his doctor's handwritten note, after also failing to understand what the doctor was saying to him.
Unlike clinics stationed in the more metro areas in Betoota, ‘The Ponds Medical Centre’ opened in 1902, has failed to enter the 21st century,...
Excited Irishman Manages To Say ‘Like’ Out Of Context 74 Times While Telling Story With No Punchline
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In what onlookers described as an annoying, albeit awe-inspiring linguistic performance, Séamus Ó Raghallaigh (pronounced Shay-mus Oh Rah-lee), a nice young man from County Tipperary, has reportedly managed to say the word "like" 74 times out of context during a single yarn down the pub after work yesterday.
As the tale unfolded, Séamus began weaving...
REX Liquidators End Complimentary Esky Of Cold Crownies And Stop Handing Out Free Smokes In Brutal Cost Cutting Measure
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a move that has sent shockwaves through Australia’s regional skies, REX Airlines' liquidators have axed two iconic in-flight perks.
Gone is the complimentary esky of cold cans often left up the front of their beloved Saab 340s - and the once-standard offering of a smoke after the in-flight meal.
This brutal cost-cutting measure...
Arnotts Insist Iced Vovos Have Always Been The Size Of A Postage Stamp
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Arnott's has come forward to address complaints of their beloved Iced Vovos after claims they've been slowly shrinking for years refuse to die down.
The biscuit giant, however, has insisted that the Iced Vovo has always been, and will always be, roughly the size of a postage stamp—no matter how hard Australians squint to remember...
