Private Girls School Shatter The Glass Ceiling With “I Wish That All The Fellas…” Chant
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Students of Betoota Grove Girl’s College have been checked for minor cuts and lacerations after completely obliterating the glass ceiling earlier today.
On a busy bus ride to the south-west Queensland Netball Championship heats, a group of no fewer than twenty BGGC students launched into a gender-swap performance of the infamous “I wish that all the ladies…” chant.
The “I...
Americanisation Of Australia Complete After Local Man Lets Off A Few Rounds During Halloween
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Betoota resident Clive Crook (43) is bleeding a different type of red, white and blue today as he takes Halloween to new levels of trans-pacific patriotism.
A lover of all things American, from basketball to the commercialisation of a gaelic holiday, Crook wanted to take his Halloween celebration into previously unseen levels of Americanisation.
Although Australia is the only country...
Motorist Implements New Cost Saving Measure By Topping Fuel Tank Up With Bit Of Top Shelf Vodka
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the petrol price skyrockets around the country and the world, Betoota Plains man Phil Phoden reckons he has found a way to save himself a little bit of money.
The Barefoot Investor disciple from our town's fringe suburb where the urban meets the paddock said he's got an easy hack to save on his fuel bill.
"Basically,...
Local Dad Responds To Deeply Sensitive Text Message About Personal Hardships With “Gotch ya’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local Betoota Grove dad has today made it abundantly clear to his 19-year-old daughter that he is there for her.
58-year-old fumigator, Bob Clarence, wasn't expecting such a deeply personal message from his second oldest today - but he's glad she knows she can talk to him whenever she feels the need to do so - about anything.
After...
Mum Just Calling To Confirm She’s Got You Locked In For 6 Full Weeks At Home This Christmas
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the nation prepares for the annual summer holidays, mums right around the country are today just calling in to check that they aren't a bit too ambitious with their Christmas plans.
With millions of inter-state and cross-state siblings and cousins preparing their own holiday season, it is now time for the matriarchs to strike, before they lose any...
“You Know If It’s Over 40° We Have To Go Home Right?” Says Smart Arse Queensland High Schooler
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the summer heatwaves begin to ramp up, one of Queensland's most learned high school students has today given his form room teacher a heads up that she might be breaking the law unless she does what he says.
With the mercury topping a mild 30 degrees in some parts of the state today, class clowns right throughout Queensland...
Facebook Community Group Admin Turns Off Comments After Local Beautician References ‘Apartheid’
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local information exchange moderator has today had to act quickly to try and avoid a full-blown virtual punch-up.
Rochelle Barnes, the admin of What's Happening In Betoota Heights said things nearly exploded when one of her old girlfriend's daughters posted an explosive attack in the group.
"Tanya Cronk is the aggressor in question on this one,"...
Multi-Millionaire Real Estate Agent Mate Struggles to Add Any Depth to Trivia Team
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Real Estate Agent has proven himself to be the weakest link, after struggling to offer any general knowledge to a trivia team keen to take home a prize.
Major controversy surrounds the decision to welcome Simon McGrady, a leasing agent from Luxe & Co Realty, who for the 3rd week in a row has failed...
Distant Coos From Plover Bird Clear Sign Local Woman Has Bended A Little Too Long
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A young Betoota Heights local has today learned just how cruel and unrelenting mother nature can be after attempting to pull an all-nighter, it’s reported.
After doing her due diligence by studying for a degree and working up the career ladder in a profession her parents would approve, local woman Steve Burch has come to the realisation that...
Katter Says The Key To Limiting Carbon Emissions Is Those Big Red River Gums, But Ya Can’t Camp Under Em Because Those Branches Have A Mind Of Their Own,...
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the National Party wraps up three days of fierce debate over whether or not they believe the science presented that indicates burning fossil fuels at an accelerating rate for over 200 hundred years is bad for the planet, Independent North Queensland MP Bob Katter says he's never been happier with his decision to leave their party over...
