Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the different states around Australia begin to hit exciting milestones in the jab roll-out, the attention is now turning to the worrying variable within the population who aren't interested in immunisation. While some Australians are medically exempt, or ideologically opposed - there is also a large demographic of people who just haven't been fucked. There's also a fair few...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local fuckboy, Dennis Merrill (28) has felt the warm breath of Haedes down his spine this evening. After a rocky break up with an on-again-off-again girlfriend, Dennis and some mates thought they'd try their luck chatting up some girls at a local Betoota nightlife precinct. The fact that his break-up had timed bang on with the arrival of summer does...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With Korean pop now the most popular form of music infiltrating the ears and minds of the Australian youth, local sportswear retailer Kimbo (33) is growing concerned about the influence of Asian culture on his children. Also known as 'K-pop' the genre of music has origins in South Korea, and plays a major part in South Korean culture. With...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Wishful thinking is often a one way street to disappointment and a quick lesson in lowering expectations. Though in Freya’s case, the bar would be on the floor. It’s alleged the 24-year-old had been expecting her boyfriend to pick her up at 6:30 pm to check out a new bar that they’d been talking about attending for weeks. But...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Premier of New South Wales has bid farewell to a small pile of clothing that once defined her media appearances this afternoon. Gladys Berejiklian, before heading out on a picnic this afternoon in Sydney, emptied her wardrobe of work blazers into a number of garbage bags and drove them down the road to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Inside the digital walls of a workplace in Betoota’s Old City District office administrator Anne Patterson (49) has shared a very important update with her colleagues; she watched a movie last night. According to Patterson the film she watched was very good and her colleagues would really enjoy it, which is why she provided them all with a bastardised...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Betoota IT professional, Paddy Kilmartin (29) knows there's only a few things certain in this world. One, this government will tax him until death. Two, the Parramatta Eels will never win a premiership in his lifetime. And three, he will never be able to afford his own home as a university educated office worker whose work requires him...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local hospitality employee in our French Quarter is today preparing herself for the silly season. "It's going to be a big one," laughed Freda Harvey, an employee at the Bearded Billy Goat in our town's nightlife district. With the nation edging closer and closer to at least 70% of the population double jabbed up, local hospo and...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A mother and daughter have today bonded over conspiring against a tight ass dad, who’s known for only ever purchasing new socks when his work pair developed large holes in the heels. June and Tasha Moore are said to have taken an impromptu trip to The Stockland after school one Thursday afternoon, making the most of the late-night shopping...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A trendy local office worker has offered himself up as a source of momentary amusement today.  The man who prides himself on not being just another square, did so a short time ago by drawing an interesting line in the sand.  Enjoying a little mask free outdoor gathering as is the norm here in Queensland, Brett Thomas had made a...