Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Arnott's has come forward to address complaints of their beloved Iced Vovos after claims they've been slowly shrinking for years refuse to die down. The biscuit giant, however, has insisted that the Iced Vovo has always been, and will always be, roughly the size of a postage stamp—no matter how hard Australians squint to remember...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThere’s been some irrational feelings of jealousy brewing in Betoota Heights today, as a local bloke has yet again been completely overshadowed by his dog, it’s reported. Having recently adopted a retriever mix with his girlfriend, which is one step away from getting engaged, Julian House, 32 had no idea that this simple decision would ensure that he would...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA long airport queue has been given some colourful entertainment today, as a group of footy boys publicly annouce all the depraved shit they got up to this weekend.At 4:55pm this afternoon, The Advocate understands passengers waiting to pass through airport security at Coolangatta were treated to a play-by-play narration of all the antics of a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Betoota Heights internet personality and profound dipstick, Paula Fusty, has once again graced her followers with a new batch of photos featuring her kids with their faces is obscured by an emoji. The photos, which depict otherwise mundane moments like trips to the park or awkwardly staged family gatherings, have been posted with the apparent...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA shit stirrer by trade, Jackson Wishart has spent his young life searching for trouble.Renowned amongst his mates as the first person to dish out some lip to opposing supporters at an NRL match, the 24-year-old professional carpet cleaner from Boronia Heights has once again decided to push the boundaries of publicly acceptable behaviour in Brisbane.A...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights couple have reached a bit of a stalemate this week, after an argument that was originally meant to be playful escalated into a full blown shouting match. Imogen and Mick Hynes, both elder millennials, are alleged to have been tossing around baby names before the fight occurred, with Mick jokingly floating the idea of possibly naming...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today decided that she’d much rather put herself out by booking an appointment with a salon that has an online booking system, even if it means she has to drive out further or risk a drop in quality. Laura Manning, an introverted software developer from Betoota Heights, tells our reporter (via Email) that she only...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter finally doing something about the severely chipped nail polish she’d been sporting for two weeks, Betoota Heights woman Jasmine Hynes feels like she’s one step closer to getting her shit together. Brandishing a set of perfectly polished nails, courtesy of her local salon, ‘Smexxy Nails’, Claudia says that this simple self care routine  always leaves her feeling rejuvenated. “I...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some disappointing news, Betoota Heights local Jesse Huberman has been found to not only be ridiculously good looking, but also incredibly accomplished and a nice human being. Standing at a lofty 6’3, with chiselled cheekbones and thick head of hair that shows no signs of recession, Jesse is quite literally the embodiment of ‘tall, dark and handsome’ -...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local online socialite has conceded that she is experiencing FOMO from the Olympic village. Despite Jessica Rose (26) being one of those girls that refused to run in PE class, she has bravely admitted that she would love to be involved in all the tea that must be going down at the Olympic village. Despite zero sporting background or...