Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In a touching performance of civic duty, a local woman has decided to take time out of her busy schedule to help prevent another summer of awful bushfires.  Rochelle Hawkins (29) performed the selfless act last night on the way home from her job in the Old City District, earning the thanks of our local volunteer firefighters.  Commuting out to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An assortment of men who don't really like each other have descended upon Betoota's popular Roma Hills nightlife precinct this weekend, to celebrate the end of bachelorhood for a local finance grub, Blake Meriton (33). Every stereotype is on display for this 72-hour ordeal of binge drinking and recreational drug use. There's Blake's childhood best friend alpha, his high school...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Department of Main Roads and Transport Office in Betoota Heights was the scene of a heated stand-off a short time ago. The incident came after the person in charge of running the heavily bureaucratic organisation in our little desert outpost decided to lock horns with a long-term employee once again. "Gillian, we need to have a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact An aspiring Socceroo has today spoken to The Advocate about the prospect of playing soccer in joggers for the foreseeable future. Tim 'Timbo' Hickson (8) explained that he doesn't mind playing in cheap trainers, but he does struggle with the early morning games and practices down at the Betoota Ponds Bulldogs. "Joggers are really slippery when the grounds...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A hungover uncle has today had to cave into peer pressure, when he was offered a token of apology from a toddler. It’s alleged Neil Baker had unwisely gotten on the turps the night before a large family gathering and had rocked up feeling a little worse for wear. The bright lights, coupled with the booming sounds of Pink...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local child has today learnt a hard lesson in deception after an afternoon spent playing video games has resulted in onion tainted treats. It’s alleged twelve-year-old Cooper Russo had been visiting his nonna for the day and was looking forward to being overfed and waited on hand on foot. After several hours of video game playing broken up by...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A Betoota Ponds Fitness First is in some serious trouble today after it was discovered that none of the TV’s were playing shitty RnB music videos. It’s alleged that the head franchise manager, Alison Lemon, was undertaking her usual monthly inspections of the Queensland franchises when she caught wind of a franchise owner breaking the rules. Having just dealt with...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Patrons at Old City District Brewery ‘Dad Shed Brewing Co’ had a look behind the smoke and mirrors of showbiz today as it became clear the beer garden performer had taken creative liberties with his choice of song cover. Despite calling himself a singer/songwriter, Connor West is best known for his acoustic covers of popular songs, some of which...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A Betoota teen has today landed a sneaky one on his brother, who was innocently watching a movie in his room prior to the incident. It’s alleged Tyson Young has been traipsing around the house bored shitless, when he was alerted to the building sensation of his rumbling bowel. Though he’d have normally let one rip right there in...

CLYDE OVERELL | YOUTH BLOKE CULTURE | CONTACT A social circle of mid-20s blokes from Betoota Heights are today at tipping point with one of their old acquaintances who really isn't bringing much to the table in their WhatsApp group. James 26, not particularly popular amongst mates, but has stayed in high school group chat by default, has been reportedly depending solely on gifs...