Local News

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT LIFE WILL FIND A WAY: A utility vehicle that is not a Ford Ranger has been discovered in the Brisbane suburb of Belmont overnight, according to the CSIRO. The discovery, a early 2000s model of Holden ute, has been heralded as a positive sign of vehicle diversity in the heartland of upper-middle-income tradies "It's the last thing we expected,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT The girls chat is going off tonight, courtesy of an off hand remark about a friend’s relationship, it’s reported. The four person group chat called ‘50 shades of slay’ had for the most part been a safe space for the girls to lament about their boy troubles, share various memes about mental breakdowns, and post screenshots...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local girl Vanessaa Bryan wasn’t prepared when she received a late night Snapchat from Ben the spunky builder. It’s revealed she’d been lying in bed watching Tik Tok videos when Ben had sent through what was obviously an attempt at starting an in depth conversation. “What u up to?” Posting a photo that appeared to be the corner...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman Jessica Schipper is what you’d call ‘genetically blessed.’ So much so, it appears that she too, is sick of her perfection. Or at least that can be the only logical reason why the blonde haired beauty feels the need to adopt a pixie cut all of a sudden. Voicing this thought over lunch one afternoon, Jessica...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Brent Williams has been struggling today. Bringing in the New Year with a party at a mate’s place that only finished a few hours ago around some outdoor furniture, Williams says he feels like he’s been hit by a bus. “My head feels like it’s been cleaved open by a blunt axe,” he sighed to our reporter while the pair waited...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT At 3 am on a Friday night, local teen Robbie Mills finds himself unable to sleep. The thirteen-year-old Betoota Heights local had just finished the entire original Spiderman trilogy when he found himself channel surfing for his next fix. It’s alleged that this search was partially fuelled by his discovery of Jackass last weekend, which had been playing early morning...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Valerie Roberts is having a hard time getting into The Crown due to its startling historical inaccuracies, it’s reported. The Betoota heights mum allegedly picked up the show per the request of her daughter Leslie, who was trying in vain to get her mother to watch something other than Homes under the Hammer for once. Leslie tells our reporter that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Local golden retriever Oscar has a pretty good life. He goes for regular walks - at least three times a week - has the best pet food money can buy, and even gets treated to a monthly wash and clip at the Betoota Heights ‘LA Dog’ grooming salon. If that’s not enough, he also has a companion to play...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Liz Kemp has given up on the weights and has instead taken to the club’s group fitness classes, needing the motivation of an instructor and the fear of judgement to get moving. After trying a few HIIT style classes, and a torturous spin cycle session, Liz had found a good middle ground with the Latin style dance fitness,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Marginally skilled white-collar worker Kylie Morely can’t seem to land himself a job. The down on her luck graduate says she’s spent a solid two months looking for a communications role but has had trouble finding the right fit. Revealing a desire for a low stress entry level role with a $70K salary, Kylie reckons she’s not asking too...