Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Local golden retriever Oscar has a pretty good life. He goes for regular walks - at least three times a week - has the best pet food money can buy, and even gets treated to a monthly wash and clip at the Betoota Heights ‘LA Dog’ grooming salon. If that’s not enough, he also has a companion to play...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Liz Kemp has given up on the weights and has instead taken to the club’s group fitness classes, needing the motivation of an instructor and the fear of judgement to get moving. After trying a few HIIT style classes, and a torturous spin cycle session, Liz had found a good middle ground with the Latin style dance fitness,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Marginally skilled white-collar worker Kylie Morely can’t seem to land himself a job. The down on her luck graduate says she’s spent a solid two months looking for a communications role but has had trouble finding the right fit. Revealing a desire for a low stress entry level role with a $70K salary, Kylie reckons she’s not asking too...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A clinically depressed local woman had reportedly been unable to leave her bed, after again seeing the world for what it really is. Despite being on a heavy dose of SSRI’s, Sarah Mills couldn’t seem to shake her bleak thoughts and has turned to the comfort of a doona to deal with her pain. However, after suffering...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “I know it’s the last thing I should be thinking about when I board the plane, but it’s literally all I think about,” Stacey Little tells The Advocate while at the Betoota Domestic Airport waiting to board her two-propeller plane to the State’s capital, Brisbane. “It’s always the right propeller, it bursts into flames and in my mind I...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local boyfriend has today saved himself the time, money, and stress that comes with a big-ticket anniversary gift and just decided to sort out a little novelty pressie. Speaking to our reporter at the self-serve checkout in Betoota Heights, the man named Chris explained that he just decided to get a box of choccies and an outside...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local store for a giant Supermarket chain has been commended for lavishing it's overworked and lowly paid employees this weekend. The Betoota Heights store whose employees earn a tiny bit above minimum wage reportedly treated its staff to a Christmas Party function at the shittest pub in the area, FitzGilGoooleys. With the party pies, sausage rolls, and...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A 2001 Honda Civic has today fallen victim to a deadly combination of a 5000 Watt Subwoofer and a dubstep track, it’s reported. Though 28 year old William Stubbs is too old to be driving around in a car with a rear spoiler, he’s somehow made the experience all the more embarrassing for his date by blasting ‘Scary Monsters...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT As local bloke Lucas Peyton painstakingly cuts together a four minute promo video for a childcare centre, he begins to wonder if the freelance life is really worth it. When he’d studied film and television at university, he’d imagined himself shooting documentaries for Vice or editing promo videos for nightclubs. Had he known that those three years would have...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from our French Quarter today, a local man from across the ditch has revealed he doesn't own a single basketball singlet. Yep, you are reading that correctly He doesn't own a Tall Blacks singlet, or a Breakers one or a LeBron one, or even a Jordan Bulls one. The shocking news was revealed over some...