Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local Year 12 student has pulled off a clever little play this morning. Feeling underdone for her Ancient History test this morning, Angie Wilton was praying for a miracle. Not quite across the goings-on of Themistocles and the prowess of the Athenian Navy, Angie was starting to get overwhelmed by the fact this mark feels like it means...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Appliance manufacturer Breville has unveiled a device which it claims will help speed up the brekky rush; a circular roof-mounted sensor which alerts hungry breakfasters when their toast is ready.  The ‘Toast-A-Larm’ is designed to be mounted to the ceiling within a 25 metre radius of the toaster and will sound a piercing 80 decibel alarm as soon as...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Moey Gerges (31) isn't one for trying new things, but today he was overcome by a very affective marketing campaign at a local small business. The Betoota Ponds based chippy says he really wishes there was a decent carvery nearby, but given the fact that he's working in the centre of the town's rapidly gentrifying Flight Path District, he...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A single local man Brayden James (23) has put his innovative ability on full display today, by demonstrating a genius little life hack. Given the nature of his living arrangements in a sharehouse of 5, the very eligible bachelor was left facing a distinct lack of ginger, and veggies, when making a stir fry for one. “Yeah I live with 4 other blokes, you...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Local woman Hannah Statham thinks she might have found the one tonight. It’s alleged the twenty-three-year-old bartender was set up by a mutual friend after lamenting that she’d been unable to find a nice guy on dating apps. Having exhausted Tinder, Bumble and even Hinge, Hannah had almost given up her quest for love when she’d met Darren -...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the calendar progresses towards the glorious long weekend months, the chances of spending the weekend at home with some spag bol and a sitcom and are increasingly less likely. It's no longer silly season, but it's Easter. Footy is back, the sun is still out, and the turps are flowing every Friday and Saturday night, and sometimes Sunday if...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Police are today looking for a young man who suggested burpees as a finisher for a tough boot camp session, it’s reported. Personal trainer Neil Bradley tells our reporter that he regularly offered his clients a chance to suggest wind down activities at the end of his class, which he says were ‘usually jumping jacks or at worst, some...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT If you’d told twenty year old Eliza Thompson that she’d spend her thirties happily lying in bed watching movies, she’d have thought you were joking.  But now at age thirty four, Eliza has officially hung her high heels up in favour of a pair of fluffy pink bed socks and chucked her clutch in for an oversized tote. The...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact As sponsored articles for health insurance will remind you, 2020 has been a tough year. But with Victoria working towards being COVID free and the Flemington public housing towards reporting 0 new cases Australia can get back on track to being excited for the Melbourne Cup again. Known as The Race That Stops The Nation the Melbourne Cup is one...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT After a long week of filing insurance claims, local girl Ali Grabham has officially declared that she’d getting fucking lit tonight. So far, it seems like the plans are for the girls to have some pres at Lisa’s before heading out for a few cocktails at their local wanky rooftop garden, ‘Tres Bubbles .’ Or so,...