Local News

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A young Birkenstock wearing couple, Bindi Aye and Archie Freeman, are this afternoon treating themselves to a nice lunch. After enjoying an entrée the couple began to let their judgmental eyes roam around the restaurant. It’s believed it was at this point that they noticed the Kelly family, another couple slightly older with a 5-year-old boy. Bindi...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Lisa Edmonds hadn’t been planning a social outing when she ducked out to Westfields. Warning that it’d only be a quick trip, Lisa and her two young daughters had piled into the SUV for an impromptu outing as the household was in dire need of mince. The frazzled mum was in the middle of reminding her daughters again...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Lisa Fields had reactivated her Tinder for the seventeenth time when she ended up matching with a cute footballer named Greg. Not expecting to hear anything from him, Lisa was pleasantly surprised when he messaged her “How r u?” “I’ve not had a lot of luck on Tinder,'' says Lisa. “Most of the time you don't get a response...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights woman has today confirmed to her Instagram followers and Facebook friends that she has been caught up in a Pyramid Scheme. The confirmation comes not in the form of a verbal admission, but in the medium of a 7th healthy living themed post in the last week. Bethany Matterson's (24) explosive return into people's social...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local mum has today forgotten her Apple ID password for what may be the seventeenth time in the last 12 months. Julie Wills reportedly started having a go at her daughter for not remembering it either, despite being told multiple times that she should either write it down or use the same password across all her accounts....

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Despite being in one of the hottest countries in the world, Betoota Heights woman Heather Mills has never been able to be anything other than pasty pale. Preferring the term ‘porcelain’ rather than ‘pasty’, Heather admits that her pride often took a hit during the summer months, as it was impossible to go anywhere without seeing perfectly olive...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local boyfriend is under fire today for a snap decision that could change his life. Will Harrison (27) of Betoota Heights fame last night controversially decided to 'leave the experiment.' "Nah I'm flat out fucking done with Married At First Sight," sighed the high school teacher and long term boyfriend. "I'm not even waiting until the dinner...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Climate scientists are once again reeling after a pair of local property owners have landed a nother body blow. The blow comes in the form of an aggressive Facebook status posted by John, of John And Sherryl, which completely refutes what the account refers to as 'Global Warming.' Having seemingly missed the memo that society has moved on...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The family of Bruce Walters have just been alerted to the fact that he's heading out and about. That alert came in the form of the 64-year-old semi-retired plumber tucking his t-shirt into his jeans before noisily looking for his flip phone and wallet. The tucking in of a t-shirt into jeans is a practice followed by the nation's...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The age old social faux pas of asking a woman her age may be made redundant today after a report released by the CSIRO revealed you can now determine someone’s age without even speaking to them.  The year-long study carefully monitored two separate groups of women, one in their twenties and the other in their thirties. And, despite dressing...