Local News

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Formerly young couple Jerry and Virginia Parker had a rude wake-up call on Friday night, after they suddenly realised they were watching Better Homes & Gardens instead of being dragged out of a club by a bouncer after numerous Jaegerbombs and an argument over a pool table. “We had a pretty big one last weekend so we thought we...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT East coast of Australia residents were not sure how to react this week when unexpectedly confronted with the spectacle of water falling from the sky with no apparent cause. Local dirt farmers Daniel and Melissa were preparing for dinner when they witnessed the strange phenomenon from their kitchen window.    “We heard this weird hissing noise outside and all this water was...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The triple j Hottest 100 countdown continues to be a culturally important moment for many Australians from those who are there to have fun to those who will proudly exclaim they know what number 1 will be after hearing songs 100-2. It appears that some segments of triple j listeners have been forgotten during the annual countdown, a segment...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the triple j Hottest 100 music countdown continues to break records for voter numbers, listeners all across Australia tuned in today to hear the democratically selected best songs of 2019. While the lighthearted music countdown may be the most democratic process taking place in the nation, a local moustache attached to the face of Betoota resident Domonic James...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local chippy has all but confirmed that he purchases prohibited supplements on his job site today. Sitting down for a late lunch with a couple of other blokes, Brixen Watts did so by revealing his new miniature water cooler. The water bottles are often associated with gym bros who like to throw weights down as loudly as...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Andy McMillan has felt a wave of panic set over him this evening after receiving a message alert from his cousin’s weird, cider drinking boyfriend. Andy tells our reporter, who happened to be at the scene, that over Christmas he was just trying to be polite when he suggested the two of them get a drink when they were...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Although continuing until the tail end of January, school holidays have been cut short once again thanks to stationery suppliers going live with a premature ‘Back to School’ ad campaign.  Although continuing until the tail end of January, school holidays have been cut short once again thanks to stationery suppliers going live with a premature ‘Back to School’ ad...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Local man Chris Thorpe is a quiet, small business owner who generally doesn’t get phased by too much. From all reports in the Old Town community, Chris is a quiet guy. However, it has recently come to the attention of The Advocate that Chris’s 'nice guy' persona stops the moment he logs on to the internet. Outback Jack is...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local mixologist has just put on a show down at the Betoota Heights Imperial it can be confirmed. The arts graduate (majoring in French Studies) from the University Of Betoota named Hugo Wren did so when serving up a couple of patrons some of 'the most epic cocktails in town.' The once quiet locals joint which ticks along...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A financially reckless but relatively content local man has experienced a few heart palpitations today. The cause for concern arose during his lunch break when he realised he wasn't sure where one of his most valuable possessions was. Immediately stepping outside the office of his engineering firm, Jacob Walters called his mum to check if she knew where...