Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Moustache owner Duncan Hopper (33) does not like this time of year. Aside from the fact that Christmas decorations are already appearing in his neighbourhood, Hopper finds the month of November particularly frustrating due to one question he keeps being asked. “Oh, we're you doing Movember?” a checkout attendant asked Hopper as he purchased his dairy-free chocolate and tobacco. “A few...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As the festive season draws closer, staff at the recently-rebranded Betoota Bottle Shop & Nang Boutique are looking forward to some much-deserved time with their families. For Assistant Vice-Manager Jim Ford this can mean only one thing; listening to the lickspittles drone on about how they need to spend time with their neglected kids and parents before putting...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local accountant is currently running through a raft of scenarios and possible one-line retorts like a politician about to go on FM Radio it can be confirmed. Standing at the Barefooted Truffle Pig’s bar in Betoota’s Old City District, young Damien Williams said he was trying to get on the front foot with his deadshit mates who...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young woman named Shannon Masters has today confirmed that she'll be making the most of the Black Friday sales taking place over the course of today. Black Friday, which is becoming more and more of an insitution in our consumer driven society, originated from the United States, and is a huge day of sales the day after...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A regional chef’s credentials have today been questioned after it was revealed that he doesn’t deal drugs on the side. The chef in question was approached by a customer looking to buy, when he said he didn’t have anything. Appalled by these findings, the customer immediately reported the incident to the owner. “I was a bit shocked, to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Although most of his customers are happy to sit in the back and chew through their phone battery while listening to smooth FM, Uber driver Sam Dashti (35) has a different agenda for those who choose to ride with him. Working through an Uber car rental middle-man service, Dashti wants to make it clear that this clean and respectable...

A local woman is this evening seething in her seat after she ordered fish fingers at 14 Wilson St, one of Betoota’s top Italian restaurants, despite spending the best part of the last three days studying the menu. This week Clancy and Errol sat down with the iconic John Safran. Have a listen here: “I don’t know what happened,” says a...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As Saturday night draws closer and public interest in bushfires starts to wane following their successful dousing with millions of litres of thoughts and prayers, Channel Nine Program Director Shamus Turner knows this can mean only one thing: that unless something really big gets blown up, it may be time to press the Sister Act 2 button again. This...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local law student has today put her hand up to help any 'ordinary people' wade through the murky waters of the current impeachment inquiry taking place in the US. The young woman named Imogen Brailey said her law degree has her well placed to explain the meaning of the phrase to non-lawyers or as now calls them,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After just under a month of missing flights, losing her keys and pointlessly fighting with her mum and sisters, Betoota Grove woman Mia Dotty (26) is officially back to normal. This comes as a relief to her boyfriend, who is looking forward to a bit more accountability on Mia's end. "I know there'll never be a time when there isn't...