Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact In an unsurprising update in the 'lives' of real estate agents, it has been revealed that the work fridge in a Betoota real estate agency is full of lunches labelled with pictures of everyone’s faces. Clarence & Chode Real Estate has been a staple in the Betoota community for five years and a horrific thorn...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTBetoota Heights man Jay Silva (24) has officially solidified his status as the worst guy you know after casually revealing that he runs an Instagram account solely dedicated to his car. The bombshell dropped during what was meant to be a low-key work lunch when colleague Jason Nguyen started griping about the cost of servicing his 2012 Toyota...

LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact In a whelming turn of events, today has been a slow news day, a concept that would have once bored us but these days comes as a welcome God damn relief. During the early stages of televised news it was not uncommon for a broadcaster to announce that there was no news today so that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local uncle has decided that christmas time is the perfect day to introduce his new lover, who just so happens to be a good three decades younger than him. Arriving hand in hand with a girl who was way out of his league, Dan Parker, 56, at least had the sense to have a slightly reporaochful look in...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT STUNNING SCENES: In a move that has left her friends shook, Betoota local, Emily Johnson has broken her social media silence with not one, but two stunningly aesthetic sunset stories on Instagram. Known for her almost mythical presence online—posting only sporadically and often disappearing for weeks at a time—Emily’s sudden burst of social media activity has been nothing...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn what has become an annual post-Christmas tradition, 31-year-old Louise Jennings and her mum, Denise, have once again spent an entire Boxing Day hitting every department store in the Westfield mall, and bought fuck all except lunch. Hoping that this year will somehow be different, the pair had been on the hunt for some nice clothes, only to discover,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman is partaking in her Christmas tradition of having some Baileys on ice, which is the only time of year she drinks it, given that now she's in her thirties, milky alcohol is definitely not her thing. Having partook in the odd vodka mud shake in the past, Gwen Carey, 31, says that she usually sticks to...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A classic episode of “The Haves vs. The Have Nots” is playing out in the summer Tennis camp at South Betoota Public School today as some kids break for lunch. Sitting under the recently built shade shelter, the students of Trent Clark's tennis program have begun opening up their lunchboxes to see what’s meant to get...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The owners of an empty Airbnb in Lake Betoota are sure to enjoy some bill shock next quarter after a local homeowner took it upon himself to borrow a bit of power. Sitting in the living room of his modest two-bedroom blonde brick home, Lake Betoota commuting professional Mohan Davis is considering whether he should...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn what he insists is a stroke of genius and not an oversight, 27-year-old Ryan Matthews has reassured his girlfriend Emma that the real reason he hasn't bought her a Christmas gift isn't because he's lazy, but because he wants to make sure she gets a great gift! - by driving out to a crowded Westfield on Boxing Day. Dropping the...