Local News

MORRIS GOOCH | Local News | Contact A largely unpopular local university student took to the dance floor of the Dickless Parrot Hotel in Betoota Heights last night to showcase his ability to do the robot while simultaneously dropping his guts. Miles Perryford, a 21-year-old business studies from nearby Jundah, told our reporters that he often enjoys cutting the rug of...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact It’s day 245 of living together for a young Betoota Grove couple, which also means it’s day 245 that Ben Hawkins is yet to discover the bin that’s been sitting in their bathroom the whole time. Despite its obvious position, the bin has managed to elude Mr Hawkins on a number of occasions. Girlfriend, Bec...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact The human experience proved too much for sales assistant Lauren Katter (26) today as she waited while her phone got repaired and was forced to survive alone with her thoughts. Despite having direct access to food, water and a Michel’s Patisserie, Katter found it extremely difficult to feel safe and comfortable as she sat in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For local chubby kid, Benjamin Knight (11) warmer weather cannot come any sooner as this dough-boy is dying to show off his spanking new rash vest this summer. Unaware he was slightly larger for his age until his classmates decided to enlight him via bullying, Knight has fully embraced the chubby-chap lifestyle which has been largely helped by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A concerned group of friends has contacted The Advocate today to voice their concerns over one of their own after he chose to buy 2004 canary yellow Holden Cruise with his own money. Michael Astanda, friends say, made the decision to purchase the soft-roader while browsing the selection down at Colin Matthews Motors in South...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An ageing French Quarter property owner has decided that if he can't use his 14-year-old television anymore - nobody should. Tomorrow is the bi-annual Shire Council Clean Up in Zone 2 of the French Quarter and Old City District and the streets are lined with trash that could easily become someone else's treasure. Seen driving around...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local councillor who moonlights as a property developer has told police that he doesn't know who poisoned a 120-year-old elm tree on Goldman Broadway in Betoota Grove. The tree, which sits between Gavin Coleman's latest project and Lake Betoota, has since died after a vandal drilled into the tree's trunk and poured Round-Up down...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Do you not remember what happened in 1941?" asked the 21-year-old. "A little thing called Pearl Harbour - followed by four years of brutal, island-to-island jungle-to-jungle conflict that claimed the lives of thousands of Allied troops," "And you bring that beer here? What about the diggers? What's wrong with a good Australian beer like Tooheys or...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "What do I do? Do I go over there and confront the guy?" "Fuck! He's seen me!" Oscar Feeney-Ross hates Ezra Haddad with a burning passion - but they've never laid eyes on each other until now. Using pseudonyms on the social media platform, Twitter, the pair have been trading blows for years. Often the insults get...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's 8pm and Nathan Pekoe has just stepped off the D45 bus home from the French Quarter. He picked up an exotic duck Pad Thai up at the Jones Avenue Shops in Betoota Heights before he started the long plod off the main road, down his generic cul-de-sac and through the door of his rapidly-depreciating...