Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Even though his birth certificate says he was born under a boree tree some seven miles from the Betoota City Limits, a polite, smooth-palmed Diamantina expat has looked himself in the mirror this morning and told lies. Since 2013, Connor Halleford has called the beachside Sydney suburb of Bondi home. His youth in our state's great South West...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There's not much Natalie Smithson won't put salt on. The 28-year-old's favourite drink is a French Quarter staple - vodka, lime and salt water. She even grinds a fine mist of sea salt over her cocoa rice cereal of a morning time, telling the other residents of her jazzy Betoota Heights red brick sharehouse that it enhances flavour in the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Police in South Betoota has confirmed that a small needle was discovered inside a yellow button squash today, reigniting fears of a serial offender in the local area. However, detectives from the Food Vandalism Command have been able to date the pin as being from late March. "That means it's been in the squash undetected for...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact With as little as five months until Australian’s vote in the next federal election, opposition leader Bill Shorten has made a bold appeal to young voters with a neat collection of Soundcloud rapper face tattoos. Seven hours late to his interview with VICE magazine, the Labor Party leader flicked a lone dreadlock off his face...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact A trip to nanna’s house became a trip to remember today as grandchild Devan Wheeler (13) discovered ice cold tins of Kirk's Lemonade in the spare fridge. Sensing that she’d have a mutiny on her hands otherwise, Nanna Leighton (70) dished out the discount drink to her grandchildren who seemed to prefer the cost-efficient sparkling...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The principal of the exclusive Whooton School in Betoota Grove has outlined the dangers of losing public funding in a letter to parents this morning, saying the school's brand new playing field is in danger of being levelled without it. Professor Graham Waterford said that he and the school's board of trustees have worked tirelessly...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Filipino-Australian family from Betoota's Flight Path District have today shared some of their domestic shortcuts. This week we spoke to Filo icon Jo Koy. Listen here: Namely, keeping the TV remote fresher for longer, and in turn extending it's shelf life. The plastic-coating of everyday household items is a common occurrence within the Filipino diaspora, with reports...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT La Beretta in Betoota's Flight Path District has been a staple of family outings and noisy corporate lunches for several decades. On top of their already homely atmosphere that includes light Italian jazz music and red and white plastic table clothes on the veranda, La Beretta has also adhered to the stereotype of having a framed poster of famous Italian-American...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact Once touted as the next table tennis, a local boutique, bespoke, creative, fun, multinational mezzanine-level advertising and public relations firm has revealed that they're the proud owners of a foosball table - but nobody working there quite knows where or how they got it. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate, one of Colenso South Betoota's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Coalition leadership team has found a solution to the impending tsunami of mortgage stresses and foreclosures on the horizon by explaining that those people need to either get a better job or one that pays way more. Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and Prime Minister Scott Morrison fronted the media today after concerns were raised...