Local News

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Former call centre employee Charlie Roper (32) has taken to social media to announce she is now accepting her first clients as a professional life coach, despite the fact she is the last person you’d ever take advice from. As a high school graduate, Roper recently added to her credentials by attending a life coaching...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After a recent fall, a local sexagenarian has found himself in Betoota Base Hospital with a broken coccyx and fractured humorous. Murray Sockman was collecting his mail on Friday morning when he came across some ice slathered across his Betoota Heights driveway. His late-model Hush Puppies, which advertised 'extra grip' on the box, were no match for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A semi-retired Betoota Grove couple welcomed their first grandchild into the world over the weekend and they've been doting on the little bundle of joy ever since. Graham and Enola 'Butter' Rogers, both 68, took a break from manhandling their eldest son's baby to speak to The Advocate about the joy pulsating throughout their bodies at the moment. The couple...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "The drought affects a whole range of industries, not just agriculture," he said. "We might not make good television or sell newspapers with our stories of woe but let me tell you something for free. We brickies, builders and unskilled shit-kickers haven't had a rain day in almost three years," "Do you know what that does...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A low-tier employee barely making the minimum wage has decided to make it all about her and inconvenience her boss today, by handing in her resignation. Pip Husic, a client manager at a mid-sized Public Relations Agency in the French Quarter explained to The Advocate that she was just feeling like a change of scene. After plugging away for 18...

LEEROY PERCIVAL | Local News | Contact In a special 30th birthday celebration next year, the team at Bluesfest have announced that they will be holding the annual event at Bunnings Warehouse in Mermaid Waters. The Easter celebration will see Bluesfest team up with Bunnings, along with Sportsbet, Crown Lager and Kirks’ Solo to host a bucks style celebration. Festival boss, Peter Noble (sic), texted his...

LEEROY PERCIVAL | Local News | Contact A local paddle boarder has this week made a seamless transition into his role as a father, by applying about 5 times more sunscreen than is necessary and not making any reasonable attempt to rub it into his skin. After a few double-takes, Trevor Hendy, a senior town-planner and avid Rodriguez fan, was spotted during...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact For Ross Wylett (68), maintaining progressive political views is much harder than it is for most bleeding heart lefties. For one, he's made a lot of money out of the workers. And two, he's a rich old white man who lives in a suburb that puts fairy lights in the trees for no reason. After a fruitful career as a manufacturer...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A mildly-popular Selwyn accountant has taken the next logical step in his career and has taken the necessary steps to seek pre-selection for The Nationals in the federal seat of Kennedy in Central Queensland. Though it's been held by Bob Katter since 1993, local small business owner Graham-Albert Stevensonson feels he is in with a red-hot shot of toppling the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The team from one of the nation's peak scientific bodies had today handed down their findings in a recent landmark study into the concentration and location of chilli within a Vietnamese pork roll. And what the study has uncovered will send a shiver down your spine. Speaking candidly to the media today with the type of...