Local News

KENT REGINALD | Editor | CONTACT A local Betoota woman is absolutely fuming this evening, after coming home to find her Netflix suggestions completely ruined by ex-partner's lame ass love of loud comedy. Bailey Snodgrass, a 32 year old advertising executive, reportedly has one release from her daily grind of sitting at a desk and browsing Facebook all day - coming home to watch...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man was arrested last night around 7 pm after police discovered that his car had broken down on the A34 onramp at the intersection of Collins Road in the Old City District - causing town-wide traffic chaos. Traffic was backed back to the start of the A21 in Betoota Ponds, some seven kilometres from where the incident...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Turning 18 just before his final year in high school starts to get important, Dennis Goink's inexperience when it comes to being in a licenced venue was laid bare this Monday afternoon after he panicked when asked what he - and the rest of his merry gaggle of freshly legal friends wanted to drink. Looking the taps up and down, he...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Actor Hugo Weaving was criticised by a man on breakfast television last week for his obvious lack of enthusiasm surrounding his historical Logies Best Actor nod - saying that he should be more grateful to the bosom than spawned his impressive career. It was revealed that Weaving, a Nigerian-born migrant, was snubbing the award ceremony last...

"How are you mate, are you doing alright?" asks local dog-owner, Keiran. His 3-year-old honey lab, Dilbert, doesn't respond. "How about this cold. You don't like this cold do you? " he asks. Still no response. No one else is around, so Keiran isn't really playing this up. This is honestly what he does all the time with his dog. Other than getting excited...

In a visit to a French quarter cafe’s bathroom, Bridget Jenkins (27), tried to unsuccessfully refresh her Instagram feed at least three times, it is understood. The cafe bathroom is a known reception black spot, which often breeds desperation in the minds of excretors as they’re faced with the prospect of dealing with their head noises instead of numbing them...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There is a house on Greenpoint Road in Betoota Heights in which four bags of shit live. Not because they want to - but because they need to. Within the walls of number 21, these young white cis-gendered heterosexual middle-class warriors often get up to no good. Banjo, Gregory, Colin and Stanley love to blow off steam any way they can. Bags...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local loudmouth and downright degenerate landscaper has once again had another crack at talking about rub and tugs in front of the other subcontractors at a South Betoota worksite today. Keith Keithington (60) has come in strong with a story about how he paid an illegal sex worker to give him a hand job while visiting an...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If it's not broke, don't fix it. That's the message that the community is getting from the Betoota Heights Ultimate Frisbee Association (BHUFA) today after breaking the news that champion speed skater Steven Bradbury is returning to their annual luncheon as guest speaker. For the third year in a row. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning ahead of the July...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite his best effort, Damien Cottonwell didn't get much rest last night. A heavy Carbonnara dinner; he even used full fat cream. "I know it's not the traditional recipe but I was feeling naughty," he explained to The Advocate this morning. "But I was hunting a good night's sleep so I had a huge dinner and went to bed early....