Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Her friends laughed when Miriam Blake said she wanted a Margherita. Saying she'd a vegetarian was obviously a bridge too far, even as the kick-on wound down at the Betoota Heights sharehouse she and four other friends live in. Everyone, including Ms Blake, was starving. That's according to Lucy Camberfield, who did the ordering the old-fashioned way by telephoning the James...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Researchers are speculating possible distress signals emanating from part-time mechanic and fulltime uncle, Brian Murphy (51) as he continues to joke to anyone who will listen about why you should never get married. Friends of Murphy state the almost-loveable larikin is never short of a few words, particularly about his ‘ex-missus’ who he never seems...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact An office-wide memo at Betoota advertising agency Co-United Creative Klan has sent low-level employees into panic mode as the CEO has announced corporate headshots will be taking place in what many are calling the final act of humiliation. The 9,000-word email briefly outlined to the 8 am to 7 pm workers the importance of ‘looking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The mid-winter rains the town received late last month has claimed another victim today after the president of the Betoota Heights Polo Club announced the upcoming Polo in the Outback Festival is being moved to Quilpie because the local polo fields have turned 'too green'. Speaking to local media this morning, BHPC President Lucas Conbar-Delga, explained that the green...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Taking time out of his busy Tuesday afternoon yesterday, a plain-clothed legal professional confided in The Advocate at a popular local pub's beer garden, that the only reason he still has Snapchat installed on his phone is that it's become the amateur drug dealer's preferred method of communication. Gavin Pooley, who said that wasn't his...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Culture | Contact A contractual lawyer from Betoota’s inner-north has realised it’s probably a good time to clean out some of the contacts in his phone, after an attempt to contact his old friend Kyle resulted in a number of awkward text messages with several Kyles, whom he has no recollection of.   Joel Garrett, 30, was keen to get ahold of mate...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact On top of Simon Pooley's wardrobe, half full of $300 polyester suits and almost all of Uniqlo's winter range, sits a drone. The mildly-unpopular French Quarter accountant has no need for one - but that didn't stop him buying one. Each morning and indeed, every afternoon, he catches the D45 from Betoota Heights to and from work. In an effort...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I just don't need the stress of having him around, you know?" "The last thing I need is to wake up in the morning and see what I did after I blacked out. Don't get me wrong, he's a good bloke, he just films everything we do on the piss and tonight, I just want to relax." Tyler Dollarhyde finds it...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local Betoota woman has found herself almost single enough to follow up on her elderly Greek neighbour's non-stop offers to bring her son over for a visit. 24-year-old Anna Berry has been single for almost 18 months now, and after an entire winter not sharing a bed with anyone, is actually considering a blind date with the old...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the clock struck midnight last night, the lights were still on at Oakbridge Carter & Webster and four young lawyers were sat at their desks - each waiting for another to leave first. As it is every night of the week. The firm's website indicates office hours are 9am to 6pm but staff are often there well before and well...