Zimbabwean Migrants Who Still Refuse To Say Zimbabwe Have Some Interesting Opinions
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A couple of Zimbabwean migrants currently residing in North Betoota's new luxury housing estate have rattled several neighbours at a Christmas street party this afternoon.
This comes after the news that Robert Mugabe resigned as Zimbabwe's president on Tuesday, a week after the army and his former political allies moved to end his four decades of rule.
Andrew and Peta Smith landed...
Local Builder’s Phone Contacts Now Just First Names And Job Titles
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Not even his partner-of-four-years is safe from Dale Packham's method of organising his phone contacts.
Speaking to The Advocate this morning about the contents of his mobile telephone, the 27-year-old builder said it got too complicated having every 'fuck head architect' and 'dumb cunt concreter' save in his phone with their real names.
So he came up with his own...
Local Boomers Not Thrilled With The Fact Their Daughter Met Her Fiancé On Tinder
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Speaking candidly to The Advocate once he'd left his comfy Betoota Heights Queenslander, local father Malcolm Coolie said that while he's happy for his middle daughter - he's not rapt with the fact that she met him on popular dating app, Tinder.
"It just rubs me the wrong way, you know what I mean?" said...
Promising High School Athlete Sadly Now A Personal Trainer
MOLLY DALTON | Health | Contact
Samantha Kennedy and I were great friends in high school.
We played on the same soccer team and ran in the same circles - we were close.
But all that changed one day when a husky, loud middle-aged man stood idle on the sideline of our championship game against The Longreach School of Distance Education back in...
Hipsters From Completely Gentrified Suburb Insist It’s Still Pretty Rough In Some Parts
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A group freelance creatives insist that the sterile inner-city coffee-hub they live is actually still a bit gritty, in some parts.
Even though each of them have spent most of their lives in leafy family suburbs on the city's fringe, before moving into the city to attend university six years ago, they say that this place is pretty much...
Gordon Ramsay’s New Book For ‘Fucking Donkeys That Can’t Fucking Cook!’
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Just in time for Christmas, esteemed Scottish-born celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has released a new cookbook aimed at building the confidence of those who are 'still a bit intimidated' by their kitchen, according to his publisher.
Fast Food For Fucking Donkeys, is slated to be released in coming weeks and Ramsey himself is set to...
Degenerate In Need Of Secret Santa Presents Pays Visit To Local Sex Shop
GREG SANDERS | Culture | Contact
His colleagues think he's funny but it seems Sam Madden is about to that things too far.
The 31-year-old is lucky enough to work at local public relations firm, PorterNovelli South Betoota, twice voted the best place to work if you are dead on the inside.
One of the firm's biggest drawcards is their 'great work culture'...
“How Do I Tell The Fellas I Want To Stay In Tonight Without Looking Like A Coward?”
PETER SANDSHOE | Socials | Contact
Telling The Advocate that he slept like a Stalingrad sentry last night, Sandy Dorematte said he needs some red meat and a good night sleep more than a night on the tiles.
At a quarter to two this morning, the 29-year-old was playing BuckHunter in the Games Room of the Betoota Dolphins Club with a...
Local Dad Compromises
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local dad has had to combine both of his responsibilities today in an effort to keep everyone happy.
The first promise, which was made almost a week ago, to his mates - as well as his obligation to his young family - have been smushed together a local pub this afternoon.
"It's called compromise" he says to our reporters.
"The...
Friends Of Tall Chick Sent To Make Inroads With Tall Bloke
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A South Betoota man who is a fair nudge above-average-height has essentially just been told that he's a sure bet tonight, if he's keen.
Despite having about as much personality as a broken Obike, the 29-year-old data analyst has been accosted by several friends of a tall chick.
"Hey where are you from?" asks shorter friend number 1.
"Are you with...