Pub Regulars Agree They Should At Least Cross The Street Before Lighting Up Dirty Bunger
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A bunch of old boys that have settled in for an afternoon session at the Lord Kidman Hotel in Betoota have started to get that tingling feeling they used to get every weekend in the 70s.
Upon learning that one of the old fellas, Roy, has a little bit of Riverina Rollie stashed in his coat, the old codgers...
“Europe, With Her”: Man Vomits Into Mouth Reading Title Of Friend’s Latest Facebook Photo Album
MILES PONCHO | Media et al | Contact
"Give me a fucking break," he said.
"That'll just about do me, it will. I've seen enough."
Those are the sentiments of Ben Geurie, a South Betoota town planner who's bared witness to his school mate's relationship with another local girl hit a big milestone - the first holiday together.
Taking off just last week, Brett Hannaman...
Flashbacks Of Conversation With Boss Yesterday Riddle Local Man With Anxiety
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Though he can remember talking to his boss yesterday, Dylan Potter can't remember what they talked about.
Recently, the 26-year-old property manager has been thinking about his future more and where he'd like to be in five years time.
Those thoughts were prompted by a discussion last week he had with his boss, who asked him where he saw himself...
Understaffed Bank Branch Not Even Trying With The Refreshments
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The twenty or so people backed up in the waiting area of a local DMB branch have today realised how unimportant they are in the minds of their chosen financial institution.
Diamantina Maranoa Bank is well known across the greater Betoota regiona as one of the few banks that assume every single one of their customers has the time...
Man Catches Himself Thinking About His Dog Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
For the fourth time this morning, a beloved local dentist has paused to think about his pawed best friend at home all alone.
Dr Dennis Waugh walked out of his French Quarter medical practice late this morning to enjoy a brisk walk around the block in between patients, when he suddenly caught himself thinking about his placid three-year-old Golden...
Former Gambling Addict Wondering How All Of This Shit Is Still Legal
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Feeling confident in his newfound ability to control his impulses, a popular North Betoota account director has sat in the pub down the road from his office this afternoon and repeatedly recoiled in disgust.
Life wasn't as rosy as it is now for Brett Dearmoth.
Just two short years ago, he was left destitute as a...
Disorientated Baby Boomer Hails Bus To Ask Bus Driver If This Is The Right Bus
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Lost and frightened on the edge of town, a Betoota Heights sexagenarian began to panic.
Marrion Rhiannon, a popular interior designer and art curator, found herself outside a textile factory in the outer south-eastern suburbs of the Betoota City Limits this morning without any means of getting herself back to her French Quarter offices.
What's typically a...
Inner-City Leftie Prepares Self For Annual Care About Equine Welfare Day
ROY MARTIN | Horse Racing | CONTACT
As the gambling addicted, court suit-wearing, fascinator-adoring men and women of Australia prepare themselves for the most important sickie of the year tomorrow, there’s one corner of the Australian online community preparing themselves for a different kind of day out.
And that is, one spent entirely indoors, keyboard at the ready, to let the world at large know that horse...
PARADISE PAPERS: Local Worker On $54k Explores His Possible Tax Haven Options
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In previous years, Michael Dooley has happily defrauded the Australian Tax Office with petty deductions regarding his laundry and business attire.
Once or twice, he even claimed his own private phone was actually the device he used for work.
But in recent times, that hasn't been enough for the 24-year-old logistics manager - he wants to...
Man’s New Lime Green Tarocash Suit Doesn’t Know What It’s In For Tomorrow
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Three-hundred-and-sixty-four-days-a-year, David Gardner works hard earns an honest pay.
He works closely with builders and other tradesmen, picking the things up they don't need on the site before breaking it up and throwing it in a skip bin.
The 27-year-old is a self-described simple man with simple needs.
But tomorrow, he lets himself go.
"Melbourne Cup is basically Christmas in November," he...