Local News

Local Scotsman Horrifies New Australian Pals With Buckfast-Related Yarns

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Joe Cranston-MacDougall has carved his own groove in Australia, according to friends and family back home. The popular science student turned hospitality guru turned footballing actor has embraced Australian life like his very life depended on it. Rarely does he look back at old photos of the grey Aberdeen granite and wish he was back there...

Not Again: Local Woman’s Blind Date Turns Out To Be A Muggle

SALLY POTTER | Local News | Contact Yet another cosmopolitan was sighed heavy into at Romano's Club last night as Molly Rawlins realised the man her friends set her up with is 'just another muggle.' Stopping short of declaring herself as a wizard, the 25-year-old finance worker said she uses the term 'muggle' to describe people that aren't like her and her...

Morning Commute Ruined Thanks To Coworker That Wants To Chat

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Walking briskly this morning down Ulster Street to the Morris Road Metro Station in the fabled Old City District, Sally Dawkins casually rifled through her bag looking for her headphones for the ride to work. However, she didn't know that that today, she wouldn't be needed them. Jamming herself into the third-last carriage, the 29-year-old systems...

Local Acting School Director Agrees Everybody Has What It Takes To Make It In Hollywood

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Have you ever dreamed about leaving this four-horse-town, trading the cosmopolitan late night cafe culture in Betoota's French Quarter district from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood? The director of a local acting school, Dennis Ridgeway, can help make those dreams a reality. For close to a decade now, Star Dreemz on Montague Street Betoota Grove,...

Progress: This Boss Promotes Feminism By Hiring Women Who Can Hang With The Guys

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In what might be one for the history books, the founder of local online gambling company, Murray Blackstock, is breaking down the industry’s sexist stereotypes by hiring women who can ‘hang with the guys.’ Blackstock’s company, BallerBets, is a rapidly growing Betootacone Valley gambling app, boasting a staff of nearly 50 - which now includes...

Local Bloke With Violent Tendencies Minimizes Risk By Declaring Himself More Of A Bourbon Man

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I can't drink rum," said Gregor Donaldson. "Rum makes me fight, it makes me violent. It's a mug's drink. Bourbon is my poison." The 29-year-old has a violent criminal record, despite his youthful looks and easy-going disposition. Of a Saturday evening, he often starts his night with a few cleansing ales. One or two jugs of Toohey's...

“We Voted To Protect The Sanctity Of Marriage!” Says Local Couple Enjoying Reruns Of Married At First Sight

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Glenn Gilmore invited our reporters into his Betoota Grove serviced apartment this morning to set the record straight. His third wife Margaret sets cucumber sandwiches down on the dining room table in front of us and adds milk to everyone's tea without asking first. "We don't have it in for the QUILTBAG  community," said Glenn. "Marriage to...

Cuteness Overload! This Childless Young Professional Thinks He’s Actually Tired!

ELLIE LONGBEACH | Home | Contact Drop everything, everyone! Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, a local buyers agent said he was 'absolutely exhausted' this afternoon and couldn't wait to get home. Sam Cleary said he'd had a big weekend and that today he's really feeling it. "Had a coffee at 3 pm," he said. "And I didn't have an essay due or...

Fed Up With All The Drama In Her Life, Small Town Woman Takes To Facebook And Vents

SUSHIL SHARMA | Local Crime | Contact If you were to ask Sharnee Wilson if Taylor Sherk has been running her mouth about her all over town, you'd get a resounding yes. Ask Taylor Sherk the same question about Sharnee and you'd get the same answer. Until recently, the feud brewing between the brooding pair has remained between them and their closest friends as the...

CSIRO To Fund Study Into Why Cats Do The Things They Do

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's hardly news but Australia's peak scientific body, the CSIRO, is launching a study into why cats do the things they do that make us sad. Spurred on by a recent episode with his feline life companion, CSIRO researcher Gavin Pooley decided to get to the bottom of why his cat seems to do things solely out of spite. "For the...

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