Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Skovgaard household woke this morning to their matriarch shouting into the fridge. "If you finishing the fucking milk, don't put the empty carton back in the fucking fridge!" Rolf Skovgaard, 17, shot bolt upright in bed at around 7am, moments after hearing his mother Ingrid scream about the milk. He'd had a Milo just before bed and...

INGRID DOULTON | Education | Contact There was a time when Fiona Sears thought journalism could change the world. That time is passed. Spending close to two years learning how to write, ask and interpret left the 21-year-old feeling weary and burned out - but with a diploma in her hand and a mortarboard photograph for Mum, Dad and Grandma Joh, her hopes in reporting the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The net result to the taxpayer should be nil, according to Kevin Rudd. Taking offence to an article published by the ABC, the former prime minister this morning announced his intention to sue the public broadcaster for public money, using public money given to him. "They said I lied and that's not correct," said Rudd. "The one who lied is Peter...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Austalia's own Frank Abignale Jnr is currently galavanting around the European continent on a Contiki tour masquerading as a 24-year-old university student - when in reality, his a 36-year-old Betoota Heights web designer. The tour started on Monday in London. The Advocate can reveal that Elliot Pouchthroat made the decision to tell his travelling companions that he was a lot...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT South Betoota girl Sally Alcorn's best friend Josie is 22 today, she is also a human - that's according to a touching Facebook tribute that has clarified that Josie is indeed a descendant of the hominins species who first used fire and occupied much of Eurasia. "Happy birthday to this human <3" posts Sally. "Couldn't ask for a better human to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 15-year-old Betoota Ponds skatepark regular has taken another step toward manhood this afternoon by pushing a shopping trolley off the Dixon Street overpass into the creek four-meters below. Bryce Clayton, of Blaxland Avenue, spoke to our reporters just moments after he cast the Spar cart to its watery grave. "I can't speak for very long, the cops are probably...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Although the rain falling in and around Betoota today ‘inconveniences’ Noah Jones, he acknowledges that “we need it.” The middle-aged number cruncher and co-founder of Parker & Jones in Betoota Groves told our reporters that he doesn't like the wet weather at all. “Well look, people might say, Noah, you live in a newly built project...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two local parents are reportedly livid this morning after their privately-educated son managed to secure a good job based upon his own merits. Wanda and Jerome Watson, of Grenache Street in Betoota Grove, say they've been swindled by The Whooton School to the tune of almost $250 000 - and they want it back. The controversy began when Alex Watson,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Korin Petersen is the type of young go-getter that grabs the bull's horns with both hands, slides his legs around its neck and takes the ride. Which he why today, of all days, the 3D modder feels like taking it back to where it all started. Two-milligram cigarettes - and he's sure as shit not about to buy a pack. Which is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact He blames his chronic tiredness on the heat and his flat personality on his lack of sleep but the truth to Sam Franklin's lack-of-life is in his nocturnal phone habits. Speaking to our reporter this afternoon with the same dead-eyes he uses to avoid emails with, the 24-year-old office person said he often tries to go to sleep on time,...