Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Not many genuine friendships are able to survive the tumultuous seas that come with a career working in stockbroking. However, two local suits look like they are about the prove this theory wrong. Jack Birmingham-Whitely and Vincent Lee, both of the Betoota stockbroking firm Ackerie & Partners, have enjoyed having the odd schooner with each other for several months now...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man has reportedly told friends this afternoon that he only indicates leaving a roundabout whenever there's a policeman in the vicinity. Gregor Redpath's friends recoiled in horror as he admitted the repeated legal trespasses over his third pot of lager at the Cashew & Pogostick Hotel. "Jesus wept, Gregor!" said one fellow hotel patron. "You can just say...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An industry that once supported close to 15 000 workers is set to die in the coming months as South Australia's candle industry teeters on the brink of collapse. The demise has been blamed on the installation of the Telsa Jamestown battery, which has saved the city from being plunged into a blackout a number...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact His four straw Trilby hats sit on the coatrack by the door and Justin Timberlake's Señorita is softly pumping on his teenage daughter's UE Boom by the stove. Bobby Potter retired late last year and since then, he's taken up cooking as a hobby. Today, he's preparing a feast for him and his partner Julia. They're two high school-aged children are expected...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Wanda Greenwich ripped the head off her second Nescafé Gold satchel and cast its body beside the sink along the other ones. Monday is the cruellest day for the junior portfolio manager and the remnants of a wild weekend are still coursing through her body. Speaking to colleagues in the third-floor kitchenette of the Bell Potter building in the Old City District,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Equipped with more contemporary music knowledge than almost anybody in living memory, Conch Willis confidently stated that a popular track from last October should've been higher than where placed on Triple J's Hottest 100 Countdown this afternoon. "Woah!" uttered the 27-year-old, almost choking on his Corona. "That's bullshit. This should've been way higher than that. This is an absolute track....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact His housemates heard him slam the front door around 6am this morning after a public holiday out and about. Steve French, who sleeps in the front room, shot upright in bed at the noise. "Every time," he said. "Whenever Mike comes home and there's no kick on for him to join, he gets cross and slams the...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Outdoors | Contact A year-long study carried out by the behavioural science unit at the CSIRO has today given Australians yet another reason to hate push bike riders, more specifically, a lazy subclass – the motorised push bike rider. Already considered cheats by their peers, the study has revealed that their dishonest behaviour doesn’t stop when the helmet’s...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “Hey! Max said you were vegan as well? My name is Sammy,” he said. Greg shook Sammy’s outstretched hand and smiled. “Yeah! Hate coming to these things but you know how it is! I’m Greg, Max works with my wife.” Sammy laughed and said he did too, then told everyone in earshot that he’d been a vegan,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As per local government law, a glassing at a popular Betoota Grove gastropub has resulted in the venue being forced to serve drinks in plastic glassware for the foreseeable future. The Docking Sailors, which ambiguously states it was founded in 1899 despite being a tasteless renovation of the former venue, played host to a vicious and...